The beauty of imperfect families

Feast of Holy Family | Col 3:12-21; Luke 2:41-52

A quick search on youtube or google shows that there are a number of people who attempt to drive a car around the world (or a good part of the way!). A common factor among these adventurers is the terrible shape that their cars are in. Even if they start their journey with a new car, over time the vehicle requires numerous repairs. By the end of the journey, the car is often held together with little more than duct tape! In spite of this, with proper maintenance, the car often makes it to its destination. In addition, the owner of the vehicle even develops a real attachment to their worn-down car.

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Each of our families are like flawed car used to drive around the world. All of us have imperfect families which are still wonderful and will get us to our destination: union with God. Every so often, someone will say something to me like this: “since you are a priest, you must have come from such an amazing and pious family”. To this, I try to offer two clarifications. First, I explain that although I love and am grateful for my vocation as a priest, it is not superior to other vocations. Second, I want the person to understand that my family is very normal. I love my family and I think my family is wonderful, but it is not perfect. We have struggles and need to work at things like all families. There is no perfect family. Even in the Gospel (Luke 2:41-52), we see that the Holy Family, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, had their struggles. The 12 year old Jesus goes to the Temple, without telling his parents. He causes them real anxiety. Mary and Joseph cannot understand their child. No family is perfect but it is the vehicle God has given us to reach our destination, union with Him in heaven.

In the second reading from the letter to the Colossians, Paul recognizes the imperfect nature of families at his time (Col 3:12-21). Was there any part of the reading that stuck out to you? Perhaps the part at the end where it states that wives should be “subordinate to their husbands”? To properly interpret this text, it is important to realize that in Colossians we have an example of a specific type of writing called a “Household Code” (Col 3:18-25). Such codes are found in other Greco-Roman writing (e.g. Aristotle) as well as elsewhere in the New Testament (e.g. Ephesians 5-6). Household codes, like that in Colossians, have a threefold structure that describes three types of relationships that were normative in a family at that time: wife/husband, children/parents and slave/master (which is omitted from the reading at Mass). In each of these three relationships, the duties of what was seen as the inferior in the relationship was always described before the superior. Wives are to be subordinate to their husbands. Children are to obey their parents. Slaves are to obey their masters in everything. In Colossians, Paul takes this current family structure, which is not Christian, for granted. He does not approve of it. Paul wants to show how this imperfect family structure can be gradually transformed because of faith in Jesus. In important ways, families have improved since Paul’s time. Slavery is generally outlawed. The relationship between husband and wife is understood as an equal partnership. It would be wrong to use Colossians as an argument to re-establish what was a broken family structure. Hopefully, no Catholic would use Paul’s Household as an argument for slavery. Hopefully, no Catholic would use Paul’s Household as an argument for a patriarchal marital relationship. In Colossians, Paul takes an imperfect family structure for granted.

Paul wants to show how our relationship with Jesus can slowly transform this existing family structure. If the family is the flawed car, Paul is trying to demonstrate what kind of maintenance and care is required to get the car to its destination, perhaps in a better shape than it started off with. Paul gives a long list of behaviours that should be found in a Christian family: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness. It is important to note how practical Paul’s advice is. Faith in Jesus should concretely affect daily family interactions. We can at times lose sight of this connection, as the following story illustrates. After Church one day, a young girl named Anna was driven home by her dad and mom. When they got home, her mom prepared a meal for the family. As was usual, Anna’s dad complained about the food and then went on to say grace, asking God to bless the food. Anna was confused and asked her dad, “daddy, does God hear us when we pray?” Her dad responded, “of course, Anna, he hears us every time we pray.” “And,” Anna asked, “does he hear everything we say the rest of the time?” “Yes, every word,” her father answered. To this, Anna innocently blurted out, “then which does he believe?” Faith in Jesus should impact daily interactions in the family. How we speak to one another. The patience we show. This behaviour has the ability to gradually transform families and, like a car which is given the proper maintenance, get us where we we to go: heaven.

Living in a family is like driving a far from perfect car around the world. Things break down. At the same time, our families are an incredible gift. With proper maintenance, especially showing patience and kindness in everyday interactions, our family can make it to its destination, union with God. Like those adventurers who grow attached to their long-suffering cars, we come to see that our imperfect families are actually a thing of beauty. Like those driving around the world in a clunker of a car, in a family we share wonderful experiences. We give thanks for our families today and pray that we never stop maintaining them.

Christmas makes us one family

Christmas Mass during the Day | John 1:1-18

Say what you will about Andrew Lloyd Webber’s song “Jesus Christ Superstar”, but the refrain of this song poses very important questions to Jesus that are well worth considering on Christmas: “who are you? What have you sacrificed?” Who is Jesus? What has he sacrificed? What does he do for us? These questions are at the core of Christmas and the mystery of the Incarnation, the mystery of God becoming man that we celebrate today. If we pay close attention to John’s prologue which we heard today at Mass, we can get some answers to these questions. This beautiful and poetic text is saturated with important theological insights. Let us look at three.

First, by calling Jesus “the Word” (in Greek “logos”) John is linking Jesus to creation. The start of John’s prologue “in the beginning” is the same as the very first verse in the Bible (Gen 1:1), which tells how God created the word. We remember that in this story from Genesis, God creates by speaking. God said, “let there be light”, and there was light. God’s creates through his word. In his prologue, John is telling us that Jesus is this word through whom God made all things. Living in Vancouver, we are blessed to be in a place of great natural beauty. The mountains and the ocean are all something we appreciate (when it is not raining!). Most Vancouverites enjoy being outside and spending time in nature. A good number of them would probably describe their time being immersed in natural beauty as a kind of spiritual experience. John’s prologue would agree with this. Jesus is the word through whom God created all things. Nature, therefore, reflects something of Jesus. When we notice the beauty and power of nature, we can catch a glimpse of Jesus, the word.

Second, in his prologue, John is saying that it is through Jesus that God is presence on earth. Although the divine is perceptible in nature, in the person of Jesus of Nazareth, God became a fragile human being. It is in Jesus where God is present in an incomparable way. This comes across clearly in the famous expression “the word became flesh and dwelt among us”. In the original Greek, the word we translate as “to dwell” literally means “to pitch its tent”. John probably chose this specific verb in order to make a link to the Tabernacle. When we think of the word “Tabernacle”, we probably think of the object in the Church in which the Blessed Sacrament is reposed. John, however, is thinking of the Tabernacle in the book of Exodus. After God had freed his people from slavery in Egypt, he instructed Moses to create a tent or Tabernacle. This was a special, portable sanctuary that followed the people as they journeyed through the desert to the promised land. It was in this tent sanctuary that God dwelt among his people and was close to them, especially during times of difficulty. By saying that the word - Jesus - became flesh and “pitched its tent” among us, John is making the point that just as God was present to the people in the desert Tabernacle, so God is now present to us in the person of Jesus Christ. He accompanies us throughout our lives, especially at difficult times.

Third, John explains that the mission of Jesus is to make us a part of God’s family. To all who receive him, John explains, Jesus gives the power to become sons and daughters of God. Jesus has made us all one family. This should have important implications for our life. Many of us are probably familiar with the famous “Christmas truce” that happened during WWI. The story is often seen at this time of year depicted in TV commercials (e.g. this one from Sainsbury). For about a week around Christmas during 1914, fighting along the front lines ceased and German, French and British troops met in the no-man’s land between the opposing trenches to exchange greetings, socialize and play soccer. What makes this story beautiful is that it was a moment in which these warring factions, who were mainly Christian, remembered the truth that they were all one family. Since it was Jesus who made them one family, it was right for them to cease fighting on his birth. What makes this story tragic is that the truce was short-lived. The truce happened at the relative start of WWI. Fighting continued for some years and the death toll was tragic. How different would the world be today if people could have held to the truth that they were family and the truce was maintained?

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There is a special custom that happens in Rome every Christmas. Around noon, the Pope appears on the balcony that looks out upon St. Peter’s Square, delivers an address to the thousands of people that have congregated and gives them a special blessing. This is called the Pope’s Urbi et Orbi address, “to the city and to the world”. This year, Pope Francis chose to highlight the theme of fraternity. He prayed that people all over the world would more and more see their differences not as a danger or a risk, but as a source of richness. John’s prologue encourages us to recognize that our family is greater than simply those with whom we have genetic ties. This truth is comforting. We share so much that binds us together. We have a great unity. At the same time, the truth is a challenge. We are called to treat everyone like our brother or sister. How much would the world change if we truly believed that all other people are our brothers and sisters?

Christmas turned things upside down

Christmas Mass During the Night | Luke 2:1-14

When Jesus entered the world, he turned it upside down. Things on the top were brought to the bottom and things on the bottom were brought to the top.

The Gospel that we heard from Luke (Lk 2:1-16) shows how Jesus has turned the idea of kingship upside down. With the birth of Jesus, the ruler of the world is dethroned. The message of this Gospel is in fact very politically subversive. At the start of the Gospel, we hear about the census initiated by Caesar Augustus. This was the reason why Joseph and Mary made there way from Nazareth to Bethlehem, where Jesus was born. The reference to the census is a brutal reminder of the sovereignty that the Caesar and the Roman empire exercised over the Jewish people. The census was a way to enforce taxation, military service and allegiance to Rome. At the time of Jesus, the Caesar was so much more than a ruler. Coins and inscriptions refer to Caesar as Lord, Saviour and Son of God. The Caesar was seen as the guarantor of peace throughout the empire. The birth of a Caesar was heralded throughout the empire and called “Good News”, or, more literally, “Gospel”. In Luke, it is clear that who Jesus is is in direct conflict with Caesar. Notice the message of the angels to the shepherd. The birth of Jesus is called Good News. Jesus is called the Saviour and Lord. The birth of Jesus brings about peace on earth. This newborn baby dethroned Caesar, yet Jesus is nothing like the Roman ruler. Whereas Caesar demanded taxation from the people, Jesus is poor and humble and born in a manger. Whereas Caesar maintained “peace” through military might and the shedding of soldiers’ blood, Jesus created peace through the sacrifice of his own life. The swaddling clothes in which the baby Jesus is wrapped anticipates the linen in which the dead body of Jesus will be wrapped when he is placed in the tomb (Lk 23:53). Jesus dethrones Caesar yet is an entirely different kind of ruler. Jesus turns the idea of kingship upside down.

The birth of Jesus also turns social structures upside down and forces us to rethink who we imagine the “important” people in our world are. Recently a number of series and movies that describe the life of royalty have become popular (e.g. The Crown). Some of these shows depict the birth of a royal and its aftereffects. These births are a huge deal for the entire nation. After the birth of a royal person, this birth was announced to the important people in society: the aristocracy, the nobles, the law makers. The same practice would have held at Jesus’ time. When Jesus is born, however, something entirely different happens. The birth of Jesus is not announced to those on the highest levels of society, but to those on the bottom of the social spectrum, to the shepherds. The birth of Jesus redefines who important people are. Those with power are not the important people but rather the poor and the marginalized. These are the people to whom we should assign the greatest value. In various ways, Pope Francis has been putting this into practice. For example, he has a wonderful custom each year that usually happens on the day after Christmas. On December 26th, the Pope will usually invite a great number of the poor who live in Rome to the Vatican where they eat a meal together and celebrate the birth of Jesus. Some of the first people that the Pope celebrates Christmas with are not the rich and prestigious but he poor and marginalized. The birth of Jesus has turned social structures upside down.

Christmas invites us to imagine a world that is upside down and to live in this world. When I was a kid, I went to an exhibition at a museum in which you could walk into a room where everything was turned upside down. The tables and chairs were suspended from the ceiling. You walked on the floor. I remember being really interested by that room. There was something magical and joyful about imagining the room in a different way. The celebration of Christmas invites us to look at the world in a new way. The “normal way” that the world operates can at times get us down. Rulers are corrupt. Those with wealth exercise great power and seem uninterested in peace. The concerns of the poor and marginalized seem secondary. There can seem like no changing the status quo. Christmas reminds us that Jesus came to bring about a different world, one in which things are upside down. Jesus is the king of this world who gives us everything, including his very life. According to Jesus, it is the poor and needy who should come first. Christmas invites us to view this upside down world. More than this, it invites us to enter this world by living humble lives in which we try to help the needy and bring peace, joy and kindness to those we come in contact with.

Giotto di Bondone [Public domain]

According to tradition, the nativity scenes which we find in all our Churches was first invented by St. Francis of Assisi. This saint lived a life of simplicity and of service to the poor. He seems to have loved Christmas and is known for the great joy with which he lived. In a famous biography of St. Francis (by G. K. Chesterton), the author describes that Francis’ joy came from the fact that “he saw the world upside down, hanging from a thread of God’s mercy”. This Christmas, let us ask ourselves a simple question. What would change in our lives if we chose to see the world upside down?