Feast of Holy Family | Col 3:12-21; Luke 2:41-52
A quick search on youtube or google shows that there are a number of people who attempt to drive a car around the world (or a good part of the way!). A common factor among these adventurers is the terrible shape that their cars are in. Even if they start their journey with a new car, over time the vehicle requires numerous repairs. By the end of the journey, the car is often held together with little more than duct tape! In spite of this, with proper maintenance, the car often makes it to its destination. In addition, the owner of the vehicle even develops a real attachment to their worn-down car.
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Each of our families are like flawed car used to drive around the world. All of us have imperfect families which are still wonderful and will get us to our destination: union with God. Every so often, someone will say something to me like this: “since you are a priest, you must have come from such an amazing and pious family”. To this, I try to offer two clarifications. First, I explain that although I love and am grateful for my vocation as a priest, it is not superior to other vocations. Second, I want the person to understand that my family is very normal. I love my family and I think my family is wonderful, but it is not perfect. We have struggles and need to work at things like all families. There is no perfect family. Even in the Gospel (Luke 2:41-52), we see that the Holy Family, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, had their struggles. The 12 year old Jesus goes to the Temple, without telling his parents. He causes them real anxiety. Mary and Joseph cannot understand their child. No family is perfect but it is the vehicle God has given us to reach our destination, union with Him in heaven.
In the second reading from the letter to the Colossians, Paul recognizes the imperfect nature of families at his time (Col 3:12-21). Was there any part of the reading that stuck out to you? Perhaps the part at the end where it states that wives should be “subordinate to their husbands”? To properly interpret this text, it is important to realize that in Colossians we have an example of a specific type of writing called a “Household Code” (Col 3:18-25). Such codes are found in other Greco-Roman writing (e.g. Aristotle) as well as elsewhere in the New Testament (e.g. Ephesians 5-6). Household codes, like that in Colossians, have a threefold structure that describes three types of relationships that were normative in a family at that time: wife/husband, children/parents and slave/master (which is omitted from the reading at Mass). In each of these three relationships, the duties of what was seen as the inferior in the relationship was always described before the superior. Wives are to be subordinate to their husbands. Children are to obey their parents. Slaves are to obey their masters in everything. In Colossians, Paul takes this current family structure, which is not Christian, for granted. He does not approve of it. Paul wants to show how this imperfect family structure can be gradually transformed because of faith in Jesus. In important ways, families have improved since Paul’s time. Slavery is generally outlawed. The relationship between husband and wife is understood as an equal partnership. It would be wrong to use Colossians as an argument to re-establish what was a broken family structure. Hopefully, no Catholic would use Paul’s Household as an argument for slavery. Hopefully, no Catholic would use Paul’s Household as an argument for a patriarchal marital relationship. In Colossians, Paul takes an imperfect family structure for granted.
Paul wants to show how our relationship with Jesus can slowly transform this existing family structure. If the family is the flawed car, Paul is trying to demonstrate what kind of maintenance and care is required to get the car to its destination, perhaps in a better shape than it started off with. Paul gives a long list of behaviours that should be found in a Christian family: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness. It is important to note how practical Paul’s advice is. Faith in Jesus should concretely affect daily family interactions. We can at times lose sight of this connection, as the following story illustrates. After Church one day, a young girl named Anna was driven home by her dad and mom. When they got home, her mom prepared a meal for the family. As was usual, Anna’s dad complained about the food and then went on to say grace, asking God to bless the food. Anna was confused and asked her dad, “daddy, does God hear us when we pray?” Her dad responded, “of course, Anna, he hears us every time we pray.” “And,” Anna asked, “does he hear everything we say the rest of the time?” “Yes, every word,” her father answered. To this, Anna innocently blurted out, “then which does he believe?” Faith in Jesus should impact daily interactions in the family. How we speak to one another. The patience we show. This behaviour has the ability to gradually transform families and, like a car which is given the proper maintenance, get us where we we to go: heaven.
Living in a family is like driving a far from perfect car around the world. Things break down. At the same time, our families are an incredible gift. With proper maintenance, especially showing patience and kindness in everyday interactions, our family can make it to its destination, union with God. Like those adventurers who grow attached to their long-suffering cars, we come to see that our imperfect families are actually a thing of beauty. Like those driving around the world in a clunker of a car, in a family we share wonderful experiences. We give thanks for our families today and pray that we never stop maintaining them.
