How should we deal with doubt?

21st Sunday Ordinary Time, year B | John 6:60-69

Some year ago, I had an experience in confession that was very important for me. I was in university at the time and experiencing doubts when it came to religion. Was Jesus really who he said he was? Was the Catholic Church really founded by Jesus? Are the teachings of the Church right? While waiting to go to confession, I was looking through an examination of conscience that was sitting in the Church. What I read seems to suggest that doubting in God was a sin. This surprised me so I brought it up with the priest in confession. Was I sinning by having doubts? What the priest said to me in response was very helpful. He said that having doubts is normal, it is not a sin. What is important is what we do when we experience doubts. Do we keep searching, seeking to understand? Or, do we just give up?

Elihu Vedder [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

In the Gospel today (John 6:60-69), many of Jesus’ disciples let their doubt overcome them and leave Christ. This passage is found at the end of Jesus’ Bread of Life discourse. In this, Jesus has explained to people that he is the Bread of Life both because his teaching nourishes and gives life and because he gives himself to us in the Eucharist. If we eat Jesus, the Bread of Life, both in the Eucharist and by following his teaching, we will have eternal life. Jesus will raise us up after we die. For many who heard Jesus, this teaching was beyond belief. “This saying is hard; who can accept it.” Many, in fact, could not accept Jesus’ teaching and were overcome by their doubts. As a result, “many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him”.

When we experience doubts about God or the Church, it is very helpful and necessary to focus our attention - our heart and thoughts - squarely on Jesus. After many of his disciples leave him, Jesus says to the twelve, “do you also want to leave?” To this, Peter responds, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.” Do Peter’s words indicate that he was not experiencing doubts like the others? It seems that Peter too doubted. Peter’s response, however, shows he has experienced something incredibly powerful by living close to Jesus and hearing his words. He had experienced life and holiness. Perhaps he struggled to accept all that Jesus had said. At the same time, nothing else mattered except staying close to Jesus. To whom else would he turn? Peter is an example for us when we have doubts. Perhaps we struggle with accepting some teaching, whether it be on the Eucharist or some moral issue. Or, with all the revelations that have arisen recently abuse the terrible crimes and cover-ups committed by leaders in the Church, it is only natural to have doubts. Can this really be the Church that Jesus founded? Or, maybe in the midst of suffering, whether it be with your health or in a relationship, you struggle to see how God is with you. Where is Jesus when I am in this pain? These doubts can be unnerving. To get through them, we, like Peter, need to focus on Jesus. We need to remind ourselves of the life and goodness we have experienced by following Jesus. He will strengthen us and show us the way forward. To whom else will we turn if not to Jesus?

In order to stay close to Jesus during times of doubt, we need to stay in close contact with his words. Remember that Peter said “to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life”. Although we can hear the words of Jesus in various ways, an indispensible way is by reading the Gospels. There we encounter Jesus and hear his words. These words give encouragement, direction, and strength. At times of doubt and struggle, therefore, it is important to read the Gospels. Now, it is true that we hear the Gospel each time we come to Mass. There is, however, a difference when we sit down and read an entire Gospel, or a large chunk of it. When we do this, we get a more real, complex and compelling picture of who Jesus is and what he said. Reading a Gospel takes less time than we think. For example, the Gospel of Mark takes less than an hour and a half to read. This is about the same amount of time that, according to one study, the average person spends a day watching Netflix. If we don’t like to read, it is easier than ever to listen to the Gospels, whether it be in a podcast or audiobook. It is even possible to buy a recording of a famous person, like Johnny Cash, for example, reading the Gospel. We can listen to a Gospel, or large part of one, on our commute or when we are out for a walk.

Having doubts about God, the Church or certain teachings is a normal part of our lives. What is important is what we do with these doubts. When we experience doubt, let us, like Peter, focus our attention on Jesus.  “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life”. He will encourage us and show us the way forward. What will you do to make sure that you will hear the life-giving words of Jesus in the Gospel?

Is the Eucharist just a myth like the fountain of youth?

20th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Year B | John 6:51-58

You have probably heard the myth about the fountain of youth. It has been told in various forms for over two and a half thousands years. The myth relates that somewhere in the world there exists a special fountain. Anyone who bathes in this fountain, the story goes, will be restored to their youth. As a result, anyone with access to this fountain would never die. In short, the fountain of youth could rightly be called a cure for death. It is a guarantee of immortality.

The Fountain of Youth, Lucas Cranach (1546) [source]

In Jewish tradition, there was an ancient expectation that one day there would be a remedy for death. We all probably remember what happened to Adam and Eve after they gave in to the serpent’s temptation and ate the fruit that God forbade them to eat. One of the results of their sin was that they were expelled from Eden and no longer had access to the tree of life (Gen 3:24). As a result of their sin, they and their descendants would die. Before Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden, God told the serpent that there will be an ongoing conflict the serpent's offspring and the descendants of Eve. God said that the woman’s descendants would strike at the head of the serpent and that the serpent's offspring would strike at their heal (Gen 3:15). In some ancient Jewish texts (e.g. Targum Jonathan and Targum Neofiti, Aramaic translations/paraphrases of the Bible), we find an insertion after this line, which expresses a particular interpretation of this passage of scripture. These texts expand God’s speech to the serpent. After stating that the descendants of the woman and the serpent would be caught in a battle, harming one another, God says that for the woman’s descendants there would be a “cure”, whereas for the snake's offspring there would be no “cure”. This cure was to come in the days of the messiah. It seems, therefore that the author of these texts expected that there would, at the time of the messiah, come a cure for the effects of sin and temptation. In other words, there would be a remedy for death, the terrible consequence of sin.

In the Gospel today (John 6:51-58), Jesus presents himself as the cure for death. Jesus, the Messiah, says to the people, “whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day”. Here, the flesh and blood that we are invited to eat and drink is the Eucharist, which is Jesus himself. For this reason, Ignatius of Antioch (died 107) called the Eucharist the “medicine of immortality”. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life. Since Jesus destroys sin, he has conquered death (cf. 1 Cor 15:55-57). Therefore, the Eucharist, which is the very flesh and blood of Jesus, is the cure for death.

It takes faith to believe that Jesus is the medicine of immortality. Even though we receive the Eucharist, we will still eventually die. How can we believe Jesus’ promise that he will raise us up on the last day? What prevents us from thinking that what Jesus offers is no better than the mythical fountain of youth? To my mind, there is only one answer: faith in the resurrection of Jesus. If we believe that Jesus rose from the dead, then we can believe that he will be true to his word and raise us up as well. Speaking personally, believing in the resurrection can be a difficult thing. Sometimes it is extremely difficult. Yet, I continue to believe. I believe because of the testimony of the apostles who claimed to witness the risen Jesus. Peter and the others - who were so afraid when Jesus was crucified that they all fled - gave their lives for the message that Jesus rose from the dead. I believe because of the holiness of the saints. Recently, with the revelations of terrible sexual abuse and coverup within the Church, we have seen once again that some people who call themselves Christians have committed horrendous crimes. Yet, there are still Christians who have lived and continue to live lives of extraordinary service and love. These saints (whether they be the famous ones or those who live their lives in obscurity) give me hope. They fill me with faith that the Risen Christ lives in them. I believe because I have experienced some small part of the life Jesus comes to bring. I have experienced his forgiveness and love. I have been inspired by his words I read in the Gospel. Believing in the resurrection of Jesus is not easy, but there are reasons to believe. If we have faith in the resurrection, then we can believe in Jesus’ words that if we eat his flesh and drink his blood we will live forever.

At every Mass, we have the opportunity to reaffirm our faith that Jesus, truly present in the Eucharist, is the medicine of immortality, the cure for death. When we receive the Eucharist, we say “amen”, a word that means “I believe” or “I trust”. What do we believe? Who do we trust? Let us think about what we are saying. When we say “amen”, let us make it an act of trust in Jesus, showing that we believe his words: “whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day”.

How we reject God's help

19th Sunday Ordinary Time, year B | 1 Kings 19:4-8; Jn 6:41-51

I find it difficult to ask for and accept the help of others. For example, I hate asking for directions. Lucky for me, with GPS I no longer need to do this when I drive. There are still situations where I should to ask for directions, like when I am in the grocery store looking for something on the shelves and cannot find it. Still, I hate asking for help. I would rather walk around trying to find the thing for ten minutes than stopping for 30 seconds to ask an attendant. Sometimes, after not finding what I was looking for, I have simply left the store without it instead of getting help. This, I know, is foolish. Assistance is always available. I just need to ask.

Elijah fed by an Angel, Ferdinand Bol [source]

In different ways, we all find ourselves in difficult situations where we need help. Here I am thinking of circumstances far more serious than not being able to find a particular soup in the grocery store! In the first reading we find the prophet Elijah in dire straights. God had sent Elijah on a mission to call Ahab, an evil king of the Northern Kingdom of Israel (see 1 Kings 16:29-33), to conversion. In response, Ahab threatened to kill Elijah (1 Kings 19:1-2), forcing Elijah to flee for his life. In the first reading, Elijah is at the point of giving up, having lost all hope that he would live, let alone complete his mission. “Enough!”, Elijah cried out to God, “now, O Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” (1 Kings 19:4). Do you now find yourself in a difficult situation? Although our circumstances are perhaps not as severe as Elijah, we all encounter hard times in which we need help and feel like giving up: seemingly impossible challenges in relationships (marriage, friendship, etc.); unemployment; struggles with addiction; or disillusionment with those in positions of (maybe even with the Church).

When we find ourselves in the the midst of such struggles, sometimes we do not accept the help that God offers. “Who would do something so counterproductive like refusing God’s assistance?” you might be asking. The people in the Gospel are one example (John 6:41-51). Jesus is trying to explain to them that he will give them life. He is the bread from heaven that will nourish them on their journey through life, just as the people of Israel were nourished by manna during their years of wandering in the wilderness. Unlike Elijah, who accepted the nourishment God gave him, the people reject Jesus. They complain and make excuses rather than accepting the help he offers. For many of the struggles we encounter in life, like those serious situations mentioned above, we need to ask other people for help (doctors, counsellors, etc.). At the same time, we need God’s help too. God is always there, ready to give important assistance in our difficulties. He can provide peace, hope and a sense of direction. God wants to help. Sometimes we do not give Him the chance.

One way we prevent God from assisting us is by not spending time with Him in silence. Mother Teresa was found of repeating, “in the silence of the heart God speaks”. If we do not find opportunities for silence, then we will have a hard time hearing the voice of God that consoles and directs us. Elijah sought out God in solitude and silence. He cried out to him in the midst of his anguish and God gave him the strength to continue. Finding times to be alone in silence with God is not easy. We live in a noisy, busy world. We have to fight to carve out silence in our lives. Mother Teresa lived a very active life, often in loud and chaotic urban environments. Because she knew she needed God’s help, she sought him out early each morning in a time of silent prayer. We need to be intentional, and perhaps a bit creative, in finding moments to be alone with God. Maybe when we are driving to work we could turn off the radio and let the car become a place of silence. After we wake up in the morning we could perhaps spend the first couple minutes asking God for help in our day. When we have a few extra minutes of time, like when we are waiting for the bus or have some lull in our day, instead of reaching to look at our cell and check social media or the news we could turn our thoughts to God who is always present with us. In the silence of the heart God speaks. If we have no silence in our life, we may miss what God says to us. In this way, we don’t let him help us.

Just as it is self-defeating (and even a bit foolish!) for me to leave a grocery store without an item rather than asking someone for help, we harm ourselves when we don’t let God help us. Living in such a noisy world, this is only too easy do. The good news, however, is that God always wants to assist us when we encounter difficulties. Let us allow him to help us! What is one way that you can find time to be alone with God in silence each day?