Never give up on your family

Luke 2:22 - 40 (Holy Family, year B)

Stop reading this if you have a perfect family.  If your family life has no challenges, broken relationships or skeleton’s in the closet, then the following is not meant for you. If your family situation is as perfect as those flawless looking family pictures you increasingly receive in Christmas cards, then this will not speak to you. Still reading? Good, it means you are honest and in touch with reality. No family is perfect and free from challenges. Perhaps your immediate or extended family has been affected by divorce. Maybe there are people in your family who no longer speak to each other. It could be that you are disappointed with certain aspects of your children’s lives, their careers or the fact they no longer practice their faith. Or perhaps your family is strained because of financial tensions or a serious health problem. Maybe the members of your family are so busy that simply finding the time to be together is a struggle. No family is free from difficulty.

Even the Holy Family, whose feast we celebrate today, experienced major struggles. Jesus, Mary and Joseph can relate and sympathize with the challenges your family has because they suffered as well. When you look at paintings of Jesus, Mary and Joseph it can be easy to forget this. Like those family pictures in Christmas cards in which everything looks perfect, the reality was a different story. Since Jesus is God, Mary is free from sin and Joseph is one of the greatest saints, these challenges were not caused by their sins. From the beginning, however, the Holy Family really suffered and experienced tensions and misunderstandings.  Mary conceived Jesus as a teenager. Recall the turmoil that Joseph experienced upon hearing the news that Mary was expecting. It nearly ripped apart their marriage as he contemplated divorce. The Holy Family struggled financially, otherwise Jesus certainly would not have been born in a stable with animals. As we heard in the Gospel, Mary was a mother whose heart grieved because of what happened to her child. After the birth of Jesus, the Holy Family had to flee and live the insecure and challenging life of refugees. Later, Mary and Joseph would often be confused and pained by the decisions of their Son. A clear example was when Jesus went missing in the Temple. Like us who are often embarrassed by members of our family, the Holy Family had relatives and ancestors that lived less than exemplary lives. In Jesus’ genealogy we find adulterers, murderers and prostitutes. The Holy Family knows from experience that family life is full of challenges and hardships.

In spite of these difficulties, the Holy Family reveals to us the incredible value and dignity of the family. Because they were a family completely engaged in God’s will, they show the ideal to which all families are called to aspire. Let’s look at three reasons why the family is something so precious in God’s plan for each of us. First, the family is the domestic church. This is because it is an image of God’s love in the world. In the family, the mission of Jesus is continued. Second, the family is the primary, vital cell - or building block - of society. Children are nurtured in a family. Society will be as strong or as weak as the families that make it up. A family which strives to root itself in Christ becomes an incredible leaven for the world around it. Third, a family is a school in which all people learn indispensable lessons. In the family we learn:

• To have a relationship of love with God. Children learn from their parents who God is, how to pray and how to follow His will.
• To have a relationship of love with other people. Family is where we receive unconditional love and acceptance. Family life is also full of opportunities to show love. Each day there are many chances to make sacrifices for others, to be patient, to forgive and show mercy.
• To have an appreciation for the great value of work. That Jesus spent the majority of His life working as a tradesman teaches us that work - no matter how humble or simple we consider it - is something that brings importance and dignity to our lives.

Because of its incredible role in God’s plan for our life, and inspite of the challenges, we should never lose hope in or stop devoting ourselves to our family. A number of years ago I attended a friend’s wedding. At the reception, his father gave a short speech that I will never forget. “Congratulations to both of you”, he began. “I want to give you the same advice that my father gave to me and my wife on our wedding day: never, never, never, never, never give up on your marriage.” With that, he sat down. I think the same advice applies to the family. All families will have struggles. We should never let this overly disturb us or lead us to despair. We can take comfort and courage in the fact Jesus, Mary and Joseph also faced many great challenges in their family life. They will walk with us. In spite of the challenges our families face, we should never lose sight of the ideal that families are called to and the irreplaceable role family plays in forming us as individuals and as a society. We should never give up on our family and stop trying to love one another. Last year Pope Francis gave some very practical advice in this regard. He encouraged all families to build each other up in love through the practice of common courtesy. He said that there are three key phrases that need to be heard often in a family if it is to live in peace and joy: “may I?”, “thank you” and “sorry”.

On this feast of the Holy Family, let us give thanks for the gift of our family, regardless of how imperfect it is. Remembering the great value of family, let us recommit ourselves to investing time and effort in our family relationships. Let us say often “may I?”, “thank you” and “sorry”. Most of all, let us never, never, never never, never give up on our families.

How we become a part of - rather than just hear - the Christmas Story

Christmas! (year B)

A few months ago I agreed - against my better judgment - to participate in a musical. I just had a small singing part in the performance. The organizers originally wanted me dance as well but I drew the line and said no, which you’d have to agree, if you have seen my lack of coordination and natural rhythm, was a happy decision for everyone involved. Afterwards a friend of mine who had seen the performance sent me an email. She explained that it was good that I participated in the musical because it showed everyone that “you can still shine even if you are not perfect”. My first reaction was, “aww that’s nice”, but after a minute I thought “what do you mean I wasn't perfect!” Participating in the musical was a new experience for me. I was struck how different it was to be a part of the story of the musical rather than just watching the story from the audience. When I have watched a story in the past - whether it be in a movie or play - it had a certain effect on me. It made me think or feel differently. These effects, however, quickly passed. Actually being part of the story was a different experience altogether. It really changed me; I was challenged and had to learn and grow. In some way I became a better person because of entering into the story.

I was reminded of my experience in the musical by a conversation I recently had a with a friend. Though raised Catholic, he no longer attends Mass, even on Christmas. I asked why that was. He explained that he stopped coming to Christmas Mass because he “it’s always the same story that I have heard so many times”. I suggest that, just was the case for the musical, there is an incredible difference between hearing the Christmas story and becoming part of it. Unless we choose to become a part of Jesus’ story, it doesn't really change us.

When we look at a Nativity scene or listen to the Christmas gospel, we find that it is full of people who chose to become a part of the Christmas story and had their lives changed as a result. We see Mary who said yes to God’s plan and became the mother of Jesus. Beside her is Joseph, who courageously welcomed Mary and Jesus into his heart and home and cared for them in the face of great adversity. We see the shepherds who left their flocks to worship the newborn Child. In some days we will see the wise men coming from far away to worship the King and bring Him gifts. All these people chose to play a role in the greatest love story ever told. The story of how God saved us all by becoming a small, poor, vulnerable child because He loves us. Though they had to make sacrifices, we see in the Gospels their lives were filled with joy. Their lives became an adventure upon encountering Jesus.

Another important group of characters are important to mention: the angels. Each Nativity scene normally has an angel in it and we often place an angel on the top of our Christmas trees. This is to remind us of the important role that angels played at every stage in the birth of Jesus. It was an angel who appeared to Mary to announce that she was conceive a Son. The same angel, Gabriel, appeared to Zechariah telling him that his wife would conceive John the Baptist in her old age. Angels announced the birth of Jesus to the lowly shepherds. We continue to echo the song of praise they sang that night each time we sing the Gloria at Mass. Angels were involved in the naming of Jesus. They warned Joseph of Herod’s plot to kill Jesus and instructed the Holy Family to flee to Egypt. Angels told them when they could safely return. The entire story of Jesus’ birth is an explosion of angelic activity.

Angels and all the other characters we find in the Nativity scene become part of the Christmas story when they decided to accept Jesus into their lives. Even when Jesus was a baby, he provoked people to make a choice. Is He God, King and Saviour? If so, will you choose to have a relationship with Him and follow Him? Many people answered and continue to answer “no”. Some, like the innkeepers, simply ignore Jesus. Others, like Herod, actively fight against Him. This drama of choosing for or against Jesus extended to the angels. Though there are no details given in scripture, there are some stories, both recent and old, describing how this came about. J.R.R. Tolkien, the author of the Lords of the Rings and the Hobbit, wrote a book called the Silmarillion in which he tells the drama of the angels’ choice with reference to song. Before the material world was created, God (called Eru) presented his song which told the entire story of creation to the newly created angelic beings (called Ainur). Though most of them gladly joined in the song, others broke away from the harmony of the music and created discord. There is an older tradition which gives more details. Before God created the world, He revealed to the angels His plan to create humanity. He explained that they would fall because of Sin. God also told His angels about His plan to send His Son to become a man and save humanity. Most of the angels said yes to God’s plan and a relationship with Jesus. These are the angels who played an active role in the Christmas story as God’s messengers. Some angels, however, could not say yes to God’s plan and to Jesus. They thought that it was below the dignity of God to take on human flesh. They certainly could never worship a man, which they saw as below themselves. These angels who said no to God include Satan and the fallen angels. They actively rebelled against Jesus from the moment of His birth and have tempted humanity to do the same ever since.  

Like the good angels, we need to choose to enter the Christmas story by saying “yes” to a relationship with Jesus. One Christmas I received a gift but instead of opening it, seeing what was inside and enjoying it, I put it on a shelf and forgot about it. Months later I opened the gift only to find that inside were homemade sweets that had gone bad. Pretty stupid of me, right! The greatest gift we receive at Christmas is the chance to have a relationship with Jesus. This is a gift that we have to accept and unwrap. Sometimes, unfortunately, we do with the gift of our faith what I did with the sweets. We look at it from time to time but never really open it and enjoy it. By the time we get around to it, it might be too late. In the end, we are the ones who suffer when we do this. As we saw in the Christmas story, those who say yes to a relationship with Jesus live lives filled with joy. I once read somewhere that “if you want to take your faith and put it on a shelf high out of reach of your daily life, the devil will gladly hold the ladder”.

Today we have once again heard the story of Christmas. Ultimately if we only listen to the story time and time again it becomes boring. Entering into the story makes all the difference. It changes our life and fills us with joy. Let us choose some new way to deepen our relationship with Jesus this Christmas. Perhaps we can choose to pray regularly each day. Maybe we can decide to read a part of the gospel each day. We could also choose to make attending Mass a central part of each Sunday. Finally, you might choose to take part in a new initiative we are starting in the parish. Beginning at the end of January you can choose to participate in a Discovery study. This is a six week faith study done in small groups. When I was a university student and struggling with my faith, I agreed - after much convincing - to participate in this very same study and it helped me greatly. In it, you will discover again the basic gospel message: God’s desire for a relationship with us, our need for a Saviour and the different Jesus make in our life. You will discover in a new way the great difference that having a personal relationship with Jesus makes and the joy that comes from sharing your faith in a small community. Choose some way to become a part of Jesus’ story this Christmas. Let it be the Christmas gift you give yourself.

The power of "yes"

Luke 1: 26 - 38 (4th Sunday of Advent, year b)

Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!

These words, spoken by William Wallace in the movie Braveheart, powerfully express the value we place on our freedom. Freedom, the ability to make our own choices and direct our own life, is something that we cherish, particularly today. We protest against any person or group that would curtail our freedom. We are willing to fight to protect it. Freedom is an incredible gift, given to us by God. Jesus came into the world for this purpose: to save us from sin and death. The story of the Annunciation, which we heard in today’s gospel, is an important lesson about the role that human freedom plays in God’s plan to save the world.

At times we can underestimate the part human liberty plays in God’s work of salvation. Are we passive in God’s work of salvation or are we active participants in it? I once watched news footage of a helicopter rescue mission during a flood. The water had risen so high that both people and animals had taken refuge on the tops of buildings. From the footage, you could tell that there was a large difference between the rescue of an animal and the rescue of a human being. In one scene, the helicopter saved a dog from the top of a building. The dog did not choose whether to be saved or not, the dog was simply rescued. This dog was a passive participant in the rescue. Things were quite different when a person was saved. I was surprised to see that though most people agreed to be airlifted by the helicopter, some people refused to be rescued. These people did not want to be taken away from their homes and possessions, choosing to take their chances with the rising waters. Unlike the dog, the people had to choose whether they were rescued or not. Though they would not have been saved without the helicopter, they played an active role in their salvation.

The story of the Annunciation teaches us that human beings play an active role in God’s work of saving the world. Jesus, like the helicopter in the flood, is necessary for our salvation. Yet, like those people on the roof, we need to participate in the rescue plan. St. Augustine tells us that “God created us without us, but he did not will to save us without us.” Mary cooperated in this work in a unique way. In the 12th century, St. Bernard of Clairvaux wrote a famous homily on the story of the Annunciation, focusing on the moment after Mary heard the angel Gabriel’s message about God’s plan for her but before she has said “yes”. He portrays heaven and earth as it were holding its breath at this moment of the question addressed to Mary. Will she say yes?

You have heard, O Virgin, that you will conceive and bear a son; you have heard that it will not be by man but by the Holy Spirit. The angel awaits an answer; it is time for him to return to God who sent him. We too are waiting, O Lady, for your word of compassion; the sentence of condemnation weighs heavily upon us. The price of our salvation is offered to you. We shall be set free at once if you consent. In the eternal Word of God we all came to be, and behold, we die. In your brief response we are to be remade in order to be recalled to life. Tearful Adam with his sorrowing family begs this of you, O loving Virgin, in their exile from Paradise. Abraham begs it, David begs it. All the other holy patriarchs, your ancestors, ask it of you, as they dwell in the country of the shadow of death. This is what the whole earth waits for, prostrate at your feet. It is right in doing so, for on your word depends comfort for the wretched, ransom for the captive, freedom for the condemned, indeed, salvation for all the sons of Adam, the whole of your race. Answer quickly, O Virgin. Reply in haste to the angel, or rather through the angel to the Lord. Answer with a word, receive the Word of God. Speak your own word, conceive the divine Word. Breathe a passing word, embrace the eternal Word. Behold the handmaid of the Lord, she says, be it done to me according to your word.

The Annunciation teaches us about the power of our “yes” in God’s work of salvation. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, on reflecting on St. Bernard’s homily, drew out this point.

After the error of our first parents, the whole world was shrouded in darkness, under the dominion of death. Now God seeks to enter the world anew. He knocks at Mary’s door. He needs human freedom. The only way he can redeem man, who was created free, is by means of a free “yes” to his will. In creating freedom, he made himself in a certain sense dependent upon man. His power is tied to the unenforceable “yes” of a human being.

Like Mary, we are active participants in God’s work of salvation. Like Mary, our yes to God’s plan of salvation has two powerful results:

1. Our “yes” let’s Jesus into our lives. Jesus wants to have a personal relationship with each of us. This is something He cannot force on us. We let Jesus into our own lives when we say yes to praying each day, reading the Bible and going to Mass faithfully.
2. Our “yes” allows Jesus to enter the lives of others. If Mary had not said yes to the Angel Gabriel, then Jesus would not have entered the world. We allow Jesus to touch the lives of those near us when we say yes to witnessing to him by word and example.

God will never take our freedom from us. He invites us to use our freedom for the incredible purpose of participating in His work of salvation. Here’s a very simply suggestion for how we can exercise the power of our “yes” and help Jesus enter in the life of someone close to you: invite a friend or family member who does not attend Mass to come with you to Mass this Sunday. Don’t pressure or guilt them into it, just invite. Perhaps this invitation is just what they were waiting for.