"Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?"

27th Sunday of OT, year B | Gen 2:18-24; Mark 10:2-12

Although I am not married, as a priest I have witnessed many weddings! Whenever I hear the couple vowing to love and honour each other for the rest of their lives, I am not only struck by their love for one another, but by their courage and trust in God. In that moment, they do not know what the future will hold: the joys, but also the great challenges. In spite of this, they promise to never give up on one another, irrespective of what will happen. This is an incredibly brave thing to do. In the readings today, we heard a strong message about the beautiful and radical nature of marriage.

The first reading from Genesis (Gen 2:18-24) spoke to us about the special relationship that exists between a man and a woman who are married. The story of the first man and woman, far from being some eye-witness account or instruction in history or geography, represents the inspired reflections of wise individuals who were raising fundamental questions and trying to answer them through the use of symbolic language. Where do we come from? What is the relationship that exists between God and humanity? What is the relationship that exists between man and woman? In presenting an answer to this last question, the story explains that woman was made from a rib taken from the side of the man. This tells us something about how the author of Genesis understood the relationship between men and women. Earlier in the story we saw that none of the animals in the garden were a suitable partner for the man. In saying that woman was formed from the side of man, the author is perhaps explaining that man and woman are meant to be “side by side” with one another. This denotes a closeness and equality. It also conveys the message that man and woman are incomplete without the other. Without woman, man is missing a part of himself, his rib. Likewise, without man, woman is missing a part of herself, the rest of the body that went with the rib. Only when man and woman are together are they complete. As Genesis explains, this unity between man and woman through which they complete one another occurs in a unique way in marriage.

Rogier van der Weyden [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

In the Gospel (Mark 10:2-12), Jesus teaches us that the unity that exists between husband and wife is meant by God to be indissolvable, that is, to endure for the lifetime of the couple. At the start of the Gospel, the Pharisees question Jesus in order to draw him into a debate on a question that was hotly contested at that time. According to Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Moses permitted a man to write a note divorcing his wife because of “an indecency in her”. At Jesus’ time, religious authorities argued whether this “indecency”, and therefore the reason for which a man could divorce his wife, had to be something serious, or whether it could be a trivial matter. In his response, Jesus appeals to the text from Genesis that we heard in the first reading. He bases his argument on how God originally intended marriage to be. Moses’ instruction permitting divorce, Jesus explains, was a concession based on the inability of people to accept God’s design for marriage. According to Jesus, the unity between a husband and wife was intended by God to be permanent. As a result, anyone who divorces and marries another commits adultery.

We need to continue proclaiming Jesus’ teaching on marriage because it is a source of hope and life for us. Now, there are those who argue that Jesus’ teaching was conditioned by the time in which he lived. In our current context, they argue, we should understand his teaching differently. It is important to understand that Jesus’ teaching on marriage was as radical sounding when he first said it as it is today. This teaching was as difficult to proclaim then as it is now. When it comes to proclaiming Jesus’ teaching on marriage, we must, on the one hand, have a great sensitivity for those whose marriages have broken up. As Pope Francis has so beautifully said, the Church is a “field hospital”. We are to meet people where they are, accept them and care for them. We realize that there are cases, such as abuse, in which a separation may be the best way forward. We need to do all we can to ensure that those who are divorced and those who are divorced and remarried feel genuinely welcomed by the Church. We should seek to integrate them as much as possible into the life of the Church. On the other hand, this care for those whose marriages have broken up should be accompanied with the proclamation of Jesus’ message that God intends marriage to last for the life of the couple. God intends the best for us. Jesus wants people to know God’s plan for marriage because he wants people to have joy and the fullness of life. In marriage, God intends the couple to make a complete gift of themselves to each other. This gift is something permanent, not just for a time. All marriages encounter difficulties. By proclaiming that God intends marriages to be permanent, we can give hope to couples. Though there are difficulties, perseverance will be for their good since it is in accord with God’s plan. God’s plan for us is happiness. This can be a source of hope and support for the couple.

The readings in the Mass today encourage us to reflect on the gift of marriage. We give thanks today for those couples who, in their perseverance through the ups and downs of their marriage, give witness to the unity that God intends marriage to have. We recognize that the break up of a marriage is always a tragedy and we commit ourselves to caring for those who find themselves in a broken marriage. We pray for couples who are struggling in their marriage, that God may give them the strength to persevere. Finally, we pray for those couples who are preparing for marriage, that they may, with great courage and confidence in God’s assistance, promise to love and honour one another for as long as they live.

Tips for fighting temptation

26th Sunday of Ordinary Time, year B | Mk 9:38-48

Some years ago, I was visiting a Church with my nephew, who was about four at the time. When he looked at the crucifix behind the altar, he became quite troubled. He started asking questions like “why is that man nailed to the wood?” and “why is he bleeding?” His response made me realize that it is a troubling and surprising thing to have a crucified man displayed so prominently in our Churches. I had seen the image so often, however, that I lost sight of this fact. We run into problems as Christians when we become overly comfortable with Jesus. His actions and words shocked and unsettled those who witnessed them. Because we have heard his words so often, we can forget how truly provocative they are. Today in the Gospel, we heard some shocking words from Jesus that help wake us up to the radical nature of his message.

Using some incredible strong and startling language, Jesus instructs us to get serious about rooting out sin in our lives. If your hand causes you to sin… cut it off! If your foot causes you to sin… cut it off! If your eye causes you to sin… tear it out! Although Jesus is certainly not commanding us to literally maim ourselves, through the use of this hyperbolic language, Jesus is conveying an urgent message about the severity of sin. Sin harms us. It prevents us from entering into the kingdom of God. It stops us from enjoying the fullness of life. Because sin is so harmful, Jesus commands us to take decisive and even radical action in order to root it out from our life. When we hear Jesus’ strong admonition in the Gospel today, it is impossible not to reflect on our own lives. What sin might Jesus be asking me to pay attention to rooting out? A tendency to speak badly about those around me? Greed that prevents me from sharing what I have with those in need? A habit of giving into lustful thoughts or actions?

By U.S. Air Force Photo by Josh Plueger [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

In order to root out sin in our lives, we need to have a strategy for fighting temptation. Over the years I have heard some tips for fighting temptation that I have found helpful.

• Tip 1: Counter temptation when you are first aware of it. Imagine that someone makes a small snowball and releases it at the top of a hill covered in snow. As the snowball moves down the hill, it gathers more and more snow to itself as it rolls down the hill. Eventually, it will become a great big ball. At the top of the hill, while the snowball is still small, it is easy to stop its progress. As the ball makes its way downhill and grows, however, it becomes harder and harder to stop. Temptation is like this. When it first arises in our mind it is easier to stop. The longer we entertain a temptation, the more it grows and the harder it becomes to stop until it can simply run us over like a large snowball plowing down a hill.
• Tip 2: When we take strong and decisive action in the face of temptation, it can be more easily overcome. As Jesus explains in the Gospel, when it comes to battling temptation, half measures will not do. St. Ignatius explains that in tempting us the Devil is like a barking dog. if you are firm and determined from the beginning, the dog will back off. When temptations come, we should not only resist them right away. We should resist them strongly.
• Tip 3: Move in the opposite direction that the temptation prompts. St. Ignatius called this strategy of going against what we are feeling agir contra. Are you tempted to say something negative about someone? Don’t just say nothing, compliment them instead. Feeling lazy and not wanting to spend 10 minutes to clean your room? Clean your room for 12 minutes instead. Frustrated with a particular individual? Go out of your way to be kind to them. By not simply resisting the temptation but actively going against the way that temptation prompts you helps to more completely defeat the temptation. If the devil realizes that you pray longer when you are tempted not to pray, then this temptation will probably not arise as often!
• Tip 4: Stay focused on the positive reasons for fighting the temptation. We want to stop sinning not only in order to avoid what Jesus calls the “unquenchable fire” of gehenna, but also so that we can have life and enter into the kingdom of God. We should want to fight temptation not only in order to avoid the ugliness of sin, but also because we are drawn by the beauty and goodness of virtue and holiness.
• Tip 5: Do not grow discouraged. Even when we are actively trying to overcome a particular sin, we will fall. What is important is that we trust in the love and mercy of Jesus and keep trying. In struggling against temptation, the expression “fall six times, stand up seven” certainly applies. When we fall, we need to get up, seek God’s mercy and keep trying.

It is good when Jesus’ words shock and disturb us because they can lead us to action. Jesus speaks strongly in the Gospel about the need to uproot sin from our lives. Without a strategy for fighting temptation, overcoming sin may remain wishful thinking. What practical step can you take to work towards battling temptation in your life?

Law of the Gift

25th Sunday in Ordinary Time, year B | Mark 9:30-37

I recently read an article from someone who quit his job spent the last year travelling around world. The writer explained that he made the decision to travel because he had had enough of the cycle of waking up, going to work, eating dinner, going to sleep and waking up in the morning only to do it all over again. He was unable to find meaning in this daily grind and thought to himself that surely there must be more to life than this. We can all probably identify with the writer’s attitude. At times, our routine and responsibilities can weigh us down. We can feel like our life is without meaning. Unlike the writer, however, most of us probably cannot leave everything and travel the world for the year in search of purpose! What then are we to do? Today’s Gospel would suggest that what can be more important than changing what we do each day is changing the attitude or spirit with which we do the things that we do.

Jesus teaches us that a meaningful life is one in which you live your life as a gift for others. We find purpose when we work, study and serve our family and others because we want to make of ourselves a gift to those around us. We have all probably experienced the joy and sense of meaning that comes when we freely choose to give of ourselves (our time and talents) to others. Can you remember the last time that you felt this way? Maybe you helped a family member or friend when they were in trouble. Perhaps you volunteered in your community in some way. That we find joy and purpose when we give ourselves to others is sometimes called the “law of the gift”. St. John Paul II would often explain this law by saying that every human being cannot fully find themselves, except through a sincere gift of themselves. This is the logic of the cross that we see in the Gospel. Jesus explains that he will only gain life for himself and for others after he has given himself over totally to be killed. Further, after Jesus learns that his disciples were arguing among themselves about who was the greatest, he instructs them that whoever wants to be first of all must be the servant of all. Jesus teaches us that we find our true purpose when we live our lives as a gift for other.

Martyrs lived in a special way the law of the gift and are powerful examples for us. This coming Wednesday (September 26th), we will celebrate in Canada the feast of the Canadian Martyrs. Among these martyrs is St. Jean Brébeuf, a Jesuit missionary who travelled from France to New France (now part of Canada) in 1625 in order to serve as a missionary to the indigenous. Although it could be argued that some of his writings are tinged by a certain attitude, which unfortunately was all to common at the time, of the superiority of European over indigenous culture, it is impossible to read his writings and not be struck by the genuine love and devotion that he had for those he served, especially the Huron people. Brébeuf devoted himself to learning the language, culture and spirituality of the people that he was trying to introduce to faith in Jesus. Ultimately, he was captured by a hostile indigenous group, and, along with some converts from the Huron people, was horrible tortured and ultimately killed. Brébeuf died alongside the very people he had given his life to serve. During his life, Brébeuf had various opportunities to choose a different, more comfortable life, however, he found his purpose and joy by making his life a gift to others in a radical way.

By Thwaites, Reuben Gold, 1853-1913 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

In order to live the law of the gift and experience a deeper sense of purpose in our life, we may need to change our attitude towards work, school or other difficult or monotonous tasks. Instead of doing more, we may need to think differently about what we do. I am not going to suggest to you that you need to spend more time serving others. Although there may be some of us who do need to help others more, most of the people I have met in parishes spend much of their lives serving others. There are parents who make sacrifices constantly to care for their children. There are those who work day in and day out at a job that can often be unfulfilling in order to provide for their family. There are grandparents who do so much to help care for their grandchildren. There are people who, though already busy, give what little free time they have to volunteer in their parish or around the community. Although we have all at some time felt the joy that comes from living the law of the gift, in our daily routine it can be hard to experience this. Even with tasks we know are important and meaningful, a certain heaviness can sink in. When this happens, it is important that we evaluate the reason why we do difficult tasks and perhaps make an adjustment. Are we motivated by a sense of obligation or necessity? We can regain meaning in our life when we choose to have the attitude that the things we do each day, whether it be at work, school or in the family, are our way of making ourselves a gift to others.

The Greek word used for “conversion” in the New Testament, metanoia, literally means to change one’s mind. Living the law of the gift requires such a change of mind. We can find purpose and meaning in the midst of our daily grind by changing the spirit with which we approach our work and responsibilities. Is there an aspect of your life, whether it be in your family, school or at work, that you find particularly difficult? Can you begin to think of this as one way that you are making your life a gift to others?