Personal update: back to school!

With the recent publication of the Pastoral Appointments for 2015, it was made official that come mid-July I will be going back to school. Since the news has been out, people have asked me questions about what comes next and how I am approaching this change in my life. Here's some answers.

What will I study? Where? For how long?

Before ordination priests are required to study philosophy and theology. After we obtain a general degree in theology, it is possible to study deeper in a specific area. I will be pursuing further studies in Sacred Scripture. Specifically, I work towards completing a Licentiate in Sacred Scripture. A licentiate is the second of three degrees offered by Pontifical Universities: baccalaureate, licentiate and doctorate.

Pontifical Biblical Institute

I will study at the Pontifical Biblical Institute (aka Biblicum) in Rome. The Biblicum was founded by Pope St. Pius X in 1904 as a center for advanced studies in Scripture. From the start, the Biblicum has been run by the Jesuits. Interestingly, the current head of the school, Fr. Michael Kolarcik SJ, was born in New Westminster, Canada.

If all goes well, it will take me three years to complete my studies at the Biblicum. The program will require a lot of language studies, something I find more than a little intimidating. Before the program begins in October I will go to Germany for a couple months to study German. During my first year at the Biblicum I will study ancient Greek and Hebrew. In the following two years I will take courses in biblical history, geography, archaeology and methods of interpretation. While studying in Rome, I will live at the Canadian Pontifical College (in Rome everything is "Pontifical"!). Since 1888 this has been a residence for Canadian priests in Rome. It is run by the Sulpician religious community.

Pontifical Canadian College

How do I feel about the change?

As my younger friends would say, I have many “feels” about it! On the one hand I feel sad leaving behind my family and the friends I made in the three parishes I served at in the past few years: St. Matthew, St. Joseph the Worker and St. Paul. I really love working in a parish, particularly because I have the chance to interact with so many great people. I enjoy serving them and I appreciate the kindness and support they show me. Leaving this behind will be difficult. I also feel some anxiety. I am unsure about how everything will work out, particularly because my area of studies will be quite challenging for me. On the other hand, I am very excited to go back to school. I am a big nerd so studying is something I really enjoy. I love the idea of studying Scripture. St. Jerome famously said “ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ”. By reducing my ignorance of Scripture, I hope to get to know Jesus better! The idea of being in Rome again makes me happy. Previously I lived there for three years while I studied theology and I love the city. I am very grateful to Archbishop Miller for this opportunity and I intend work hard and make the most of it. It will be a great chance for me to grow personally and I hope that these studies will help me to better serve the Archdiocese of Vancouver in the future. So many feels!

When I leave to study in July, the nature of this blog will probably change. Since I will no longer be working in a parish, I will not be regularly posting homilies. Instead, I hope to write some reflections about my experiences studying Scripture and living in Rome. Thank you all for your support and prayers during this time of transition for me!

Is life an all inclusive resort or a school?

Luke 24:35-48 (3rd Sunday of Easter, year b)

Mark Twain once said, “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”  Unless we know the purpose of our life, the “why” we were born, we will never live a fulfilling life. The Gospel we have heard today in which the risen Jesus appears to His disciples helps us discover the reason why we were born.

What we see as the purpose of our life will depend greatly on whether or not we believe our existence ends at death. Do we live forever? How we answer this question influences our understanding of why we were born. If we think that there is nothing after death, then we can behave as though our life was one long stay at an all inclusive resort. At these resorts, guests pay a lump sum of money and in return they get to eat and drink as much as they like for the time of their stay. I have never stayed at an all inclusive resort and this is probably a good thing. If I did, I would try very hard to get my money’s worth by eating and drinking as much as I possibly could during the time of my stay. Sometimes we treat life this way. Being born is like the price of admission to the all inclusive resort. Death is the end of our stay. In the years that we are alive, we try to enjoy life as much as possible. We strive to obtain the best house, the best car, the best vacations, the best job and all the best conveniences. We seek to maximize the pleasure in our life and minimize the pain.

By rising from the dead, Jesus proved to us that our life does not end when we die. Death, in fact is only the beginning. The years we live before our death are like one grain of sand among the countless grains of sand on a large beach. When we believe that we have been created to live forever, we no longer view life as an all inclusive resort, but rather as a school. When we die, we do not get to bring our house, car, smartphone, money, fame or career with us. The only thing we bring with us when we die is ourselves, who we are, our character. The purpose of our life then is to develop our character and so prepare ourselves to live with God forever in heaven. During our life we are meant to grow to become more like Jesus. We might wonder why God even puts us on this earth for these years if the ultimate plan if for us to get to heaven eventually. Why do we have to suffer and go through pain? Why are we just not born and then go straight to heaven? The reason is that there are some lessons that we can only learn on this side of heaven. Our character grows most in suffering and challenges. The primary purpose of our life is not enjoyment. This will come later. The years before our death are meant to be a time of development, repentance and conversion. The readings of today all speak of this purpose. This side of heaven is supposed to be a school in which we learn to become more like Christ. We practice here was we will do forever in heaven: love God and love our neighbour.

How do we build character? How do we become more like Christ? How do we become more loving? More patient? More peaceful? More joyful? God does not suddenly zap us as we are walking down the street and produce these characteristics in us. There is no pill we can take and no book we can read that will make us have these characteristics.  We gain these characteristics by being in the exact opposite situations. For example, we develop peace in the midst of chaos. It is easy to be peaceful when you are laying on the beach sipping a drink from a coconut. When everything in your life seems like it is falling apart and you are able to trust God in the midst of it, it is then that you learn to be truly peaceful. Developing more patience follows the same principle. Do you know how you grow in patience? Go to Costco here in Richmond during peak hours and try to find a parking spot! Likewise, we learn to be loving by being around unlovable people. It is easy to be kind and caring with people that you like. We learn true love by being around unpleasant and difficult people. Finally, we learn how to posses true joy in the midst of sorrow. We gain Christ-like characteristics by being placed in the exact opposite situations.

Life is a school in which God is trying to develop our character through everyday events and interactions. For this reason, it is critical that we take on the attitude of good learners. In particular, we need to strive to have the virtue of docility. Sometimes when we hear we are supposed to be docile, we think that we are supposed to be weak or a bit of a pushover. Docility actually means something quite different. It comes from the latin word docere, meaning “to teach”. A docile person is someone who can easily be taught, a good learner. When we have docility, we are open to being taught by God. We have a different attitude when we approach experiences, especially difficult ones, in our life. When we encounter challenges or suffering our reaction can often be to ask God to simply make everything better. When we are docile, however, our reaction to hard times is to ask “what is God trying to teach me in this?” It is a tragedy in life when a child is unable to grow up to become an adult. We should think the same way about our spiritual life. Unless we work on developing docility, we will remain spiritual children. We will not grow and develop to become more like Christ.

The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. The Resurrection reminds us of our purpose. We are made to live forever. We were born in order to learn how to be people who can live in heaven. The purpose of our time here on earth is to develop our character, which is the only thing that we get to bring with us into eternal life. Let us be good learners.

In defense of Bandwagon Canucks Fans

I used to think that people in Vancouver were not very religious. That was until I went to my first Canuck’s game last year. My friend won tickets and although I do not know much about the sport, I was happy to go. Though the game was fun to watch, I found all the ceremony surrounding the game much more fascinating. It was a masterfully executed religious event! I would know, I am in a very similar field myself.

Walking to the game, I found the positioning of Rogers Arena significant. In the past, cities were often centered around a place of worship like a cathedral, synagogue or mosque. This tradition continues, only now the temple is the arena. During the game there were many effects aimed at producing an emotional response: special lighting, smoke, and music (complete with an organ!). Most impressive was the sense of ownership that was instilled in the spectators. The announcer repeatedly told us to cheer for “our” Vancouver Canucks. We are all Canucks! It’s like when I tell students in catechism class, “the Church isn’t a building, YOU are the Church!”

This new religion has its own system of morality for fans. The greatest virtue a fan can possess is loyalty. A good fan is a diehard fan, a real Canucklehead. The greatest sin a fan can commit is to only support the team when they are doing well. A bad fan is a bandwagon fan. Now that the Canucks have entered the playoffs, die-hard fans express their displeasure with the bandwagoners’ sudden interest in the team. It’s like Mass on Christmas Eve. The Catholics who come every Sunday start griping that the “Christmas and Easter” Catholics are taking up pew space.

Here’s the thing: supporting the Vancouver Canuck’s is not like supporting an orphanage somewhere in the developing world. Giving your time, attention and money to an orphanage is a good thing to do. Ignoring or withdrawing your support, especially when the orphanage is most in need, would be a bad thing to do.

The truth is, they are not “our” Vancouver Canucks. They are owned by people who hope to make money from the team. It is in the owner’s best interest that we feel the team belongs to us. It is in the owner’s best interest if team loyalty is exalted as a virtue. It keeps the money coming in when people follow the team with a religious devotion. I don’t know exactly how much the players make, but I assume their monetary compensation is enough to overcome the hurt feelings that arise when fan numbers and enthusiasm fluctuates.  We are not all Canucks. Those paid by the team are Canucks. The rest of us are just consumers.

Not that there is anything wrong with being a consumer! In the end, supporting the Canucks is entertainment. We all spend our time and money on a variety of things that entertain us. Do you enjoy being a die-hard fan, supporting the team through all its ups and downs? Fantastic. Do you enjoy being a bandwagon fan, only paying attention when the team is performing well? Wonderful. Be whatever kind of fan makes you happy. Be aware, however, that if you attach moral significance to fan loyalty or disloyalty, thinking one is “good” and the other “bad”, you’re the one who got played.

Easter: How we experience the Resurrection

John 20:1-9 (Easter Sunday, year B)

As part of a project for the students at our school, we placed a large, wooden cross in the Church’s sanctuary at the start of lent. During these past 40 days, the students gradually blanketed the cross with leaves they made from green paper. Finally, before the Easter Vigil, we covered the the cross with paper lilies students created from tracings of their hands. Eat your heart out Pinterest! This project caught the attention many parishioners, some of whom asked me what was going on. One woman summed up the questions of many when she asked “what’s up with the cross? It looks different!” I was glad she recognized that the cross looked different. The entire purpose of this endeavour was to help students and parishioners look at the Cross differently. Because of Easter, we want to look at both the Cross of Jesus and all the crosses we carry in our life differently. In fact, with this project we tried to demonstrate visually an ancient expression used by Christians as they struggled to look at the Cross differently:

Behold how the Cross stands revealed as the Tree of Life!

The first story told in the Bible is about the Tree of Life, Adam, Eve and a garden (Gen 2-3). We read that after God created Adam and Eve, He placed them in a garden.  In the garden’s center were found the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. God told Adam and Eve that though they could eat the fruit of any of the trees in the garden, they were not to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, “for on the day you eat of it you shall most surely die” (Gen 2:17). We know the rest of the story. Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. In response, God exiled them from the garden and barred them from eating any longer from the Tree of Life. This story reveals fundamental truths about our human condition. Because of sin, our relationship with God was severed. This is represented by our exile from the garden, the place of close communion with God. As a result of sin, death entered the world. This is represented by our being barred access to the Tree of Life. This death was eternal. After our physical death, we would be permanently separated from God, the Author of Life. This was the hopeless situation we all found ourselves in before the coming of Jesus.

One of the last stories told in the Bible is about the new Tree of Life, the New Adam, the New Eve and a new garden (John 18-20). Jesus is the New Adam and Mary is the New Eve because they always remained faithful to God, whereas the original Adam and Eve disobeyed Him. In the Gospel of John’s account of Jesus’ death and Resurrection, a garden plays an important role. “At the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in this garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been buried.” (John 19:41) After His death, Jesus is placed in the tomb just like a seed is planted in the dirt of a garden. After three days Christ rose from the dead, like a seedling breaking through the ground. The new life of the Resurrection came about because of what Jesus did for us on the Cross. Christ, the New Adam has undone the damage caused by Adam in the original garden. We once again have access to the Tree of Life. Behold how the Cross stands revealed as the Tree of Life! The Resurrection of Jesus gives us a certain hope that after we die we will rise like Him. Because of Jesus, the Cross is no longer a dead piece of wood. His death transformed the Cross into a source of life for all of us.

We must learn to look at the Cross of Jesus differently. This is the only first lesson the student’s project teaches us. The second lesson lesson is that we need  to look at our own sufferings - our crosses - differently. The new life brought about by Jesus is something we experience here and now, not just after our death. In our lives, God brings new life from our sufferings just as He did from the Cross of Jesus. God is able to transform any painful or difficult experience into a tree of life. In this we truly experience the Resurrection.

This is something I have experienced personally. When I was in university I went to work at High Tech company in Japan for two semesters. My first few weeks were extremely difficult. The work was way above me, there was a large cultural barrier and I was hitting my head on the many low ceilings! On top of this, I began having health problems like I had never experienced before. Suddenly and without warning my heart would start racing and I would begin feeling terrible all over. To add to my stress, I had no idea what was happening to me. One night when I was walking towards a Metro station, I had my worst episode of all. At the time I thought I was having a heart attack. It got so bad that I could no longer stand up. In broken Japanese, I asked some people to call an ambulance. I thought to myself, “this is it, Nick, the end” and I laid down in the Metro square under the blinking neon signs and loud street noises. Eventually an ambulance came and the workers lifted me onto the stretcher and took me away. Now, when Japanese people lift something heavy, they tend to say “Yish! Yish!”. I can tell you that there were many “yishes” coming from the ambulance attendants that night! Eventually I found out that what I was experiencing were panic attacks. For two months they continued. They would come at work, on the bus or when I was out on the street. It was a very dark time for me. I felt helpless and lost hope that things would improve. Thankfully, after some time, the panic attacks became less and less frequent until it was something I could manage.

Though my struggle with panic attacks was a difficult cross, I see now that God transformed it into a tree of life for me. When I went to Japan, my faith was weak. I prayed little and was not really sure what I believed. At the time my plan in life was to become an engineer. My suffering made me rethink the purpose of my life. It started me on a journey to rediscover my faith. It made me question what my vocation was. God certainly brought life from my suffering. If I had not struggled with panic attacks in Japan I doubt I would be a priest today.

Behold how the Cross stands revealed as the Tree of Life! Easter forever changed the world. Because of the Resurrection of Jesus we have the certain hope that we will live with God forever. Because of the Resurrection of Jesus, God works to bring life from our suffering. Today, take a moment to think of one cross you carried that God transformed into a tree of life and give thanks. If you are currently carrying a cross that seems too heavy to bear, try to surrender it to God today, trusting that He will bring life from it. “What’s up with the cross? It looks different!” Because of Easter, we should never again look at any cross in our life in the same way.

Good Friday: Do I want justice or do I want mercy?

(Good Friday, year B)

The front page story of today’s Vancouver Sun describes the horrible terrorist attack in Kenya. Masked gunman killed 147 university students simply because they were Christian. The media has interviewed many people, victims’ relatives, politicians and members of the general public. They all express a desire for one thing: justice. This action was terribly wrong. This is not the way the world is supposed to be. Spoken or unspoken, those interviewed and all of us following the news ask the same questions, “Who is going to pay for this? Who will be held responsible?” Whether the hurt is grievous, like a terrorist attack, or minor, as when a friend insults us, whenever someone wrongs us our inclination is to want justice.

When we are the guilty party, however, things are very different. For example, at the end of one semester at university I become swamped with exams and assignments and completely forgot to do one essay. By the time I remembered it, the deadline had passed. I quickly finished the assignment in a day and went to the professor to personally hand it in. As I walked to his office, my mind was racing with excuses. There was too much to do! The due date was unclear! My computer crashed! Everything in me wanted mercy. But the truth was, I messed up. I was late and deserved to be punished by having marks deducted from my grade. What a difference in my response. When someone hurts me, I want justice. I want them to apologize, preferably in public, and make up for it. However, when I am guilty, I beg for mercy. I want to say sorry quietly and have my transgression quickly swept under the rug.

In his letters, St. Paul vividly describes the grave situation we find ourselves in because of our sins. “You were dead in your transgressions and sins… we were by nature children of wrath” (Ephesians 2:1,3). Let this reality sink in. We have all sinned, hurting others and destroying the order and goodness of God’s world. We all deserve punishment, not mercy. St. Paul explains that if justice were carried out, we would all be found guilty and sentenced to the ultimate punishment of eternal death. This is the hopeless situation sin leaves us in. We do not deserve mercy. We deserve to be held accountable for our sins.

But here we come to the reason why we call this Friday “good”. In the darkness of sin, the light of God’s mercy and love unexpectedly breaks through. When we look at Jesus hanging from the Cross, we realize that we did not get what we deserved! God gave us mercy, not justice! Justice looks to hold the wrongdoer accountable, following through with the appropriate punishment or consequences. However, in His infinite mercy, God chose to take the punishment for our sins upon Himself. He paid our fine. He suffered in our place.  “But he was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins ... by his stripes we were healed.” (Is 53:5ff). We did not get what we deserved.

Mercy is not meant to end at the Cross. On the Cross, Jesus unleashed a fountain of mercy that is meant to flow in and through us to those around us. God is merciful to us so that we can be merciful to others. Each one of us has been hurt. We have all been insulted or betrayed by friends, family or coworkers. Some hurts seem impossible to forgive. Jesus knows our pain because He suffered the same. Mercy does not pretend no wrong was committed. Rather, when we are merciful, we choose to cancel the debt others incurred against us. In doing so, we break the power these hurts hold over us and become free to love as Christ calls us to do.

Does mercy end at the Cross for you? Is there someone in your life that you cannot forgive? Is there some hurt you cannot let go of? Are there people in your life from whom you demand justice and stubbornly refuse to show them mercy? What might this say about your understanding of what Jesus has done for you on the Cross?

Today when you look at the Cross, think of one person who has hurt you. Look at the Cross and soak in the unfathomable mercy God has shown you. We did not get what we deserved! In view of the Cross ask yourself, what do I want for this person who has harmed me? Do I want justice or do I want mercy?

Are you a bandwagon Christian?

Mark 14:1 - 15:47 (Palm Sunday, year B)

In the world of sports, there seems to be no worse name that you can be called by another fan than “bandwagon jumper”. As I understand it, this is someone who only supports a team when they are winning. When all is going well, they claim to be the team’s greatest fan. As soon as the team starts losing, however, they distance themselves from the team, claiming they never supported them in the first place.

In the readings for Palm Sunday we find many followers of Jesus who are bandwagon jumpers. At the start of Mass we heard the account of Jesus’ triumphal entrance into Jerusalem. Jesus had many fans them. He was greeted by a jubilant crowd who acclaimed Him as their king and Messiah. If we fast forward to the Gospel reading of the Passion account from Mark, however, we find these same people calling for the death of Jesus. They beg Pilate to spare the murderer Barabbas rather than Jesus. Jesus’ inner circle - supposedly  his most die-hard fans - is also full of bandwagon jumpers. While in the garden with Jesus, Peter, James and John fell asleep when asked by Jesus to stay up and pray. Judas, one of Jesus’ closest followers, betrayed Him to the authorities. Peter, previously chosen by Christ to be leader of the apostles, denies three times that he even knew Him. When Jesus is apprehended, the authorities grab hold of the garments of one young man who leaves his clothes behind, choosing to run away naked rather than be arrested along with Jesus. He is a symbol for all the disciples of Jesus who became bandwagon jumpers at the start of His Passion. Those who once left all to follow Christ leave everything behind in order to flee from Him.

Why did Jesus’ supporters, both the casual and hardcore ones, turn into bandwagon jumpers, leaving His side when He became unpopular? Simply put, Jesus was not the kind of Messiah that they were hoping for. The crowds who greeted Jesus when He entered Jerusalem were expecting someone who could liberate the people of Israel from the tyranny of the Roman Empire. For those expecting this kind of savior, Jesus’ death at the hands of Romans meant He lost. He had no political or military might. He was a suffering servant who came to liberate us from sin, hatred, greed and ultimately death. This was not the kind of Messiah that most of Jesus’ followers expected or wanted. As a result, they deserted Him when they perceived He was defeated.

If I am honest with myself, I must admit that when it comes to following Jesus I can be a bandwagon jumper or fairweather fan. I suspect I am not the only one. It is fitting that in the liturgy for Palm Sunday, we begin by waving palms, acclaiming Jesus as king and finish by shouting for Him to be crucified during the Gospel. At times we wear the label “Christian” or “Catholic” as a badge of honor. When things get difficult, however, we can desert Jesus. We are bandwagon jumpers when:

• We conveniently ignore certain teachings of Jesus, like substantially sharing our money and goods with the poor
• Pretend that hard commandments like forgiving those who harm us and loving our enemy are more like suggestions
• Expect Jesus to be the kind of Messiah who removes all difficulties and pain from our life
• We stop praying or going to Mass when life becomes too busy

Though the readings are full of people who desert Jesus, we also find incredible examples of fidelity. We hear about the woman who anoints Jesus with oil from an alabaster jar in spite of being ridiculed by those around her. We find a group of women who watched the crucifixion from a distance: Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome. They could not comprehend the tragedy they witnessed, yet they stood watch and prayed when Christ’s victory seemed impossible.

In our lives too, though we can turn our backs on Jesus, there are many other times that we are faithful. We struggle to pray when situations in our lives seem hopeless. We try to cope with suffering, trusting that Jesus walks with us. We continue struggling to overcome sinful habits even after many setbacks. We keep the faith, pray and go to Mass in a culture which is complacent at best and hostile at worst towards religion.

Palm Sunday is a time to honestly assess our situation. As followers of Jesus, none of us are diehard fans. At the same time, none of us are purely bandwagon jumpers. The most important message of Palm Sunday is that Jesus does not call us by any of these labels. Christ went to die on the Cross for love of those who denied Him and for love of those who remained faithful. He calls us all beloved. He calls us all friend. Above all, He calls each and everyone of us to greater fidelity.

The Cross is Communication

John 12:20-33 (5th Sunday of Lent, year b)

Why did Jesus need to die on the Cross? I know… Jesus had to do it to save us from our sins. But, couldn't God have done this in some other way? Could God not just offer us His grace and forgiveness in some other, less brutal fashion, and we could just accept it and be saved? The Gospel today is taken from a turning point in the Gospel of John. Jesus has finished His preaching and working of miracles and is about to enter into His Passion. In the Gospel Jesus Himself states that it is necessary for the Son of God to suffer and die in order to give us new life: “unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” Could there not have been some of other way? Why did God need to send His Son to die a terrible death on the Cross in order to save us from our sins?

The answer: it’s a mystery. Years ago when I was a student, nothing would get me more frustrated than when I would ask a question about our faith and the response I would get was “it’s a mystery”. I always saw this as shorthand for “I don’t know”. At times I am convinced it was. Now I see the concept of mystery somewhat differently. Some questions, like how to get from A to B, are problems. There is a definitive answer. Other questions, any which involve God, are mysteries. Mysteries are like spirals of infinite depth. We can go deeper and deeper in trying to answer the question and yet we can never answer if fully. We can, however, say much that is true about the topic under investigation. We just cannot fully or definitively answer the question.

The question “why did Jesus die on the Cross?” is a mystery. There are many angles from which we can approach this question. I would like to answer this problem by approaching it through the perspective of communication.

When we communicate with someone, we want to do two things: 1) transmit a message and 2) have the person we are communicating with act in response to the message. The degree to which we are successful in attaining these ends depends in large part on how we communicate the message. For example, if we want to warn someone who is about to walk into oncoming traffic, we shout “stop” loudly and forcefully in the hope that they will freeze in their tracks. Saying “stop” in a mellow, sing-song voice would probably not produce the desired effect. If, on the other hand, you wanted to tell your significant other how much they mean to you with the hope of eliciting the same feeling in them, you might say “I love you” in a kind voice, while gazing into their eyes and perhaps even handing them a gift. Shouting “I love you” at the person while throwing a glass of cold water in their face would be a less effective means of communication in this circumstance.

Throughout history, God the Father has been seeking to communicate to humanity. He wants to both tell us a message and have us act in response to the message. The message God wants to communicate is simple. He is an infinitely loving and merciful Father. He desires to be in relationship with us now and for eternity. Sin is a terrible, destructive thing. It hurts us and damages our relationship with God. In His great love and mercy, He has forgiven our sins, repaired the damage it has done and prepared a path for us back to Him. In response to this message, God desires that we all take one action: turn from sin and return to Him. This is what God has been trying to communicate all throughout human history.

Because of sin, we are have a predisposition not to listen to what God is saying and resist taking action in response to His message. Sin has given us a misguided understanding of God. We can think God is a vindictive tyrant or, on the other extreme, a permissive, non-demanding deity. We can fool ourselves into thinking that there is no such thing as sin, thinking “I’m okay - you’re okay”, to borrow a phrase from a famous self-help book. Sin makes us mistrustful, suspicious and even aggressive towards God. Even if we hear something of His message, our will is frozen and enslaved by sin. We avoid doing what we know is right.

In communicating His message, mere words are not enough to break through our sin-induced deafness. It takes more than a moral exhortation and Divine offer of grace to convert us. We saw this in history. God sent prophets to teach the people that He is a loving Father and to call them away from sin and back to Himself. All the prophets were rejected, their message largely ignored. Even the preaching and miracles worked by Jesus were not enough. All it served to do was unmask and provoke evil. Words were not a sufficient medium for God to communicate His message to us.

In order for us to truly hear God’s message and to respond to it, we needed tangible and convincing evidence to prove His message: the Cross. The Passion and death of Jesus is the only successful form of communication. It alone breaks through our deafness so we can hear clearly God’s message. On the Cross, God proves the infinite depths of His love and mercy. God became a man and took upon Himself and suffered all the effects of our sinfulness: hatred, violence, and ultimately death. He proved Himself beyond doubt to be a compassionate God. Every drop of blood shed by Jesus on the Cross screams to us how much He loves us. The Cross also tells us the severity of sin. Our sins did this to Him. Not only does the Cross allow us to appreciate God’s message, it alone is forceful enough to shake us loose from our fiercely defended idols and dislodge our chained will from slavery. When we look at the Cross it compels us to turn from sin and return back to our loving Father.

Why did Jesus have to die on the Cross in order to save us? Because it was the only way we would finally hear the message of how loving and merciful our Heavenly Father is and choose to leave sin behind and enter into a relationship with Him. The Cross is the ultimate means of Divine Communication. Each year during Lent we are given the opportunity to make sure we have heard the message and respond more fully to it.

Les Misérables, God's Mercy and Me

John 3:14-21 (4th Sunday of Advent, year b)

Les Misérables, the famous novel written by Victor Hugo, is a work soaked in the Christian theme of mercy. Mercy is particularly at work in the life of one of the main characters, Jean Valjean. His story can help us better understand the conversation about mercy we find in today’s Gospel between Jesus and Nicodemus. In this, Jesus explains how the Father has sent His Son to save us through the free gift of His life, rather than punish us for our sins. In His great mercy, God is not only patient with us sinners, waiting for us to convert, but seeks us out, always making the first move. In Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus, three aspects of God’s mercy stand out.

1. By it’s very nature mercy is a freely given gift, something we cannot earn.
2. Mercy is a gift that, once accepted, is meant to change us.
3. Surprisingly, some people choose to refuse the gift of God’s mercy.

Looking more closely at the life of Jean Valjean helps us better appreciate these three aspects of God’s mercy.

When we first meet Valjean, he is recently released after spending 19 years in prison for stealing bread to feed a hungry child. His heart is hardened. Because of his past, Valjean is rejected wherever he goes; he cannot find decent work or a place to live. One day, an elderly Bishop warmly welcomes Valjean into his home, giving him food and a place to sleep. In return for this hospitality, Valjean robbed the Bishop of his silverware in the middle of the night. In the morning, Valjean was arrested and brought before the Bishop by the authorities. They explained that Valjean claimed the Bishop gave him the silverware. Because this is his second offence, Valjean certainly faces life imprisonment with no hope of parole. He is despondent. The Bishop then does something totally unexpected. He tells the guards to release Valjean, explaining that he told them the truth. The silverware was in fact a gift. More than this, he begins scolding Valjean for not taking the valuable silver candlesticks as well. Valjean is shocked and cannot comprehend the Bishop’s behaviour. When they are alone, the Bishop tells Valjean to go and make a new life for himself. He tells him that with these silver candlesticks he has ransomed his soul for God. He is to no longer to live in darkness but the light.

What the Bishop did for Valjean was a totally gratuitous act. It was in no way motivated by self interest. Valjean did nothing to deserve it. It was an act of pure mercy. The Bishop’s gesture is a reflection of what God has done for us. In His mercy, Jesus ransomed us from death to life by giving up His life. It is a total gift. We cannot earn it, only accept it. When we accept God’s mercy it changes our life.

This is exactly what happened to Valjean. He left the Bishop a changed man. After some time he became the mayor of a small town. He was renowned for his generosity to the poor. His self-sacrificing love is most evident when he adopts, at great risk and cost to himself, Cosette, the daughter of one of his workers who has died. During the course of Les Misérables we discover how the Bishop’s selfless act of love and mercy to Valjean transformed him to become someone who is also selfless, generous and loving. In the end, he becomes like the saintly Bishop.

The transformation of Valjean is a model for how we all should be transformed when we accept God’s mercy. God gives us His mercy freely so that in accepting it we become channels of love and mercy to those around use. This is the principle shown in the Gospel and mirrored in Les Misérables. Imagine for a moment if God’s love and mercy were not free, if we really thought that we had somehow earned it. If this were the case, then we would not show love and mercy freely to others. We would make them earn it from us. Jesus came into the world freely to give His life for us and save us. Jesus made Himself a gift for us, so that in accepting Him we would choose to make ourselves a gift for others. St. Athanasius explained it this way: “He became what we are, so that he might make us what He is". We know we have truly accepted God’s mercy for us when we become more merciful and loving to those around us.

It is difficult to appreciate how anyone could refuse God’s free gift of eternal life. Yet Jesus in the Gospel tells us that people will. The life of Valjean offers us a glimpse as to how this could be so. After Valjean has begun his new life, he is constantly pursued and harassed by his former jailor, Javert.  Javert is a man who lives by the letter of the law. In his world, even the slightest infraction must be punished to the full. He understands nothing of mercy. At a crucial moment in the story, Valjean is given the opportunity to kill Javert and be free of him forever. Instead, Valjean spares his life, expecting nothing in return. Valjean does for Javert what the Bishop did for him years ago. He shows him mercy. Now Javert has the chance to become a channel of grace and mercy himself. But this act of love breaks Javert. He cannot understand and appreciate Valjean’s action. He has never shown mercy to anyone in his life and now he refuses to accept it for himself. In the end he chooses to throw himself off a bridge into the river because he cannot live in a world where mercy and love can triumph over the law. Javert shows us what damnation means. People who go to Hell choose to go there because they refuse, until the end, to accept God’s free offer of mercy. Even now, we make life hell for ourselves and others when we refuse to show mercy to those around us.

Recently Pope Francis made a very unexpected announcement. He declared that the coming year would be an Extraordinary Jubilee Year. These holy years are special moments in the Church when we are encouraged in a particular way to grow closer to God. The last Jubilee Year was 2000. Pope Francis announced that this coming Jubilee Year would a Holy Year celebrating the Mercy of God.  During this year, Pope Francis calls all of us to a greater appreciation and acceptance of God’s mercy in our own life. More importantly, he wants to ensure that the Church and each one more fully become channels of mercy to those around us. As we prepare to start this year, we can ask ourselves a simple question: who am I more like, Jean Valjean or Javert?

How you can overcome procrastination

John 2:13-25 (3rd Sunday of Lent, year B)

It prevents us from doing our income tax. It keeps us busy with small distractions, stopping us from getting to work on a challenging project. It makes us put off a difficult conversation. It is a barrier blocking us from breaking sinful habits. Procrastination: the tendency to delay unpleasant but important tasks. When we procrastinate, we fool ourselves into thinking the hard work will get done on its own. Procrastination doesn’t make sense because nothing gets done one its own. It holds us back from becoming a better person. Why, then, do we do it? Why do we put tasks that we know are important on the backburner?

We procrastinate because doing difficult things requires us to expend a large amount of energy for an extended period of time. Since this is exhausting and even painful, we avoid expending our willpower for as long as we can. The psychologist Roy Baumeister proved how exhausting the use of willpower is in an interesting experiment. He formed two groups of students. He placed the first group in front of an oven in which delicious smelling cookies were baking. On top of the stove he put a bowl filled with radishes. He told the students that they could eat as many radishes as they wanted. The cookies, however, were strictly off limits. Then the students were left alone for thirty minutes. The students in the second group, on the other hand, were allowed to eat as many cookies as they wanted for thirty minutes. After the time period was up, the students from both groups had to try solving a difficult math problem. The students who were forbidden from eating the cookies gave up on the problem twice as fast as the students who pigged out on the cookies. Exercising self control had drained their energy! Doing difficult, necessary things is unpleasant because it takes so much energy. For this reason we put them off.

Though we cannot eliminate our tendency to procrastinate, it is something that we must work against so that it doesn't have an adverse effect on our life. Jesus’ behaviour in the memorable story of the cleansing of the Temple teaches us important lessons in how to overcome procrastination.

First, we need to clearly identify the problem and decide to do something about it. Jesus recognizes that the way people are using the Temple is unacceptable. The Temple was meant to be the place where people could encounter the Living God and worship Him. It was the most holy place in all of Israel. By Jesus’ time, however, the Temple’s purpose had become corrupted. It became a place to make money. Many others recognized the problem. Cleansing the Temple in order to restore it’s proper dignity and purpose was an incredibly intimidating and unpleasant task. It would upset many powerful people. While everyone else procrastinated and put off doing the right thing, Jesus alone both identified the problem and took the necessary action.

St. Paul tells us that each one of us is a temple (1 Cor 6:19). We are meant to serve, worship and glorify God. Like the Temple in Jerusalem, however, we have departed from this purpose by allowing sin, anger, unforgiveness and bad habits to invade our temple. We are in need of cleansing. Take a moment and try to think of one particular problem area in your life that you have the power to change. A bad habit. A relationship you need to pay more attention to. A lack of prayer. The first step in overcoming procrastination is clearly identifying the challenge you would like to overcome.

Overcoming this problem - cleansing our temple - requires us to take strong, deliberate action. During my summers in High School, I worked at a fishing resort located in the interior of British Columbia, far away from the Internet and electricity. I did many different jobs. What I did the most was wash dishes. The baking pans were the hardest to get clean. I dreaded doing them. I would try to make the job easier by letting the pans soak in water or by trying to use some fancy cleaning agent. In the end there was no easy way to do the work. If I wanted to clean the pans I had to roll up my sleeves, get out the steel wool and start scrubbing. Overcoming sin, bad habits and other problem areas in our life is very similar to this. We put off doing the hard work. We procrastinate. We fool ourselves into thinking things will get better on their own. We think that if we say the right prayers God will make us better in our sleep. God will help us improve, but not without our cooperation. In order to fight our tendency to procrastinate, we need to take bold, deliberate, strong action. Jesus does just this when He cleanses the Temple. His behaviour can seem shocking. He is angry, aggressive, unweilding, and determined. If we want to cleanse our own temple, we must follow His example. The saints did this, sometimes to dramatic effect. St. Benedict, for example, famously threw himself into a thorn bush to fight a lustful temptation! Overcoming evil in the way we act and think requires strong willpower, perseverance and at times some anger and aggression.

In order to successfully resist procrastinating and complete a difficult task, a deadline can be extremely helpful. Why do we eventually file our taxes, finish our homework, or complete a project at work? Often it is because of a deadline. During His ministry, Jesus was working against a deadline. He knew the authorities would turn on Him. Jesus zealously worked to accomplish His Father’s mission in a short period. Lent is the perfect time to do some unpleasant but necessary task because it gives us a definite deadline. Bring to mind again that problem area in your life. What is one concrete way you can cleanse your temple? What is the challenge you want to overcome with God’s help? Whatever your personal project is, set the end of lent as your deadline. Follow the example of Jesus and take some bold, deliberate steps to change. If we do this, when Easter comes we can truly rejoice.

What are the first three things you will do in heaven?

Mark 9: 2-10 (2nd Sunday of Lent, year B)

My 95 year old grandma (if you're reading this, hi Oma!) likes reading mystery novels, specifically ones about a cat that solves murders. Whenever she starts a new book, she does something interesting. After reading the first chapter, she flips to the end of the book and reads the last chapter. Sound strange? She has her reasons. First, she doesn't know if she will live long enough to read the end. Second, she doesn't want to waste her time reading books with a bad ending. Third, if the ending is promising it gives her incentive to go back and read the whole novel. Contrary to what I would think, knowing the book’s finale helps her persevere in reading it all. When she feels like giving up because the reading is burdensome, she reminds herself of the great ending, and how good it will be to arrive at the last chapter and relive it. This gives her the strength to continue reading.

In His Transfiguration, Jesus does something similar for Peter, James and John. Jesus shows His disciples how the story will end so that they will have courage for what lies ahead. After the Transfiguration, Jesus will begin making His way towards Jerusalem where the authorities will turn on Him, arrest Him, beat Him and have Him crucified. In order to strengthen His disciples, Jesus gives them a sneak peek at His final victory. In the Transfiguration, Jesus predicts His own resurrection and His appearance is changed. His clothes becomes dazzling white. It is as though Jesus gives us a glimpse of His resurrected, glorified body. Alongside Jesus appears Moses, the one through whom God gave the law, and Elijah, the greatest of all the prophets. This shows that Jesus is the true Saviour, the fulfillment of the law and all that the prophets had spoken of in the past. When Jesus’ disciples hear the voice from heaven, they receive confirmation of His identity. This carpenter from Nazareth is indeed the Son of God! In the end, He will be victorious - He will rise again! Jesus allows His followers to see the end of the story to give them hope, strength and courage in the face of the struggles that lie ahead.

In order to better bear the hardships in our own life, it is helpful to remind ourselves of the end of our own story: heaven. Remembering that we will one day be with God and those we love in perfect, eternal happiness is a source of hope and strength in times of trial. It gives meaning and purpose to all that we do until then. This principle was powerfully described by Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. While suffering in a concentration camp, Frankl’s trained mind observed the behaviour of the other prisoners. He saw that although all prisoners were subjected to the same torment, some gave up and soon died, whereas other struggled on and lived longer. Frankl determined that those who continued trying to survive were the ones who had found meaning in the midst of their suffering. Particularly, the hope that they would one day be reunified with those they loved spurred them on. Frankl experienced this personally. Remembering his beloved wife and the fact that they might someday be together again gave him the hope and courage to continue. We all suffer and can feel like giving up at times. Reminding ourselves that one day we will be perfectly happy in heaven enlivens us the the midst of our own struggles.

In order for the hope of heaven to empower us, however, we need to become much more concrete about what we expect to find in heaven. We are too vague about what the end of our story is. We see heaven as some spiritual, bodiless, reality in which we are praying all the time. We are not excited about heaven because our idea of heaven is not very exciting! Our belief in the resurrection of the body means that heaven is a physical reality. We will live in a physical world much like this one, only purified of all evil. Recently I heard a talk by the author John Eldredge that really got me thinking. In order to make heaven a more tangible reality, he challenged everyone to answer this question: “what are the first three things you will do in heaven?” I tried to come up with an answer. Here are the first three things I will do when I get to heaven.

1. Have a beer with Jesus. This isn’t just because I imagine that the beer in heaven will be awesome. I look forward to the conversation we will have. I imagine it will be like one I have with my best friends. These are conversations that alternate effortlessly between moments of laughter and being serious. I want to rejoice with Jesus about  the victory of good over evil. I want to hear Jesus tell me that I have done well and that inspite of my mistakes He is proud of me.
2. Meet all the cool people in heaven. I want to see members of my family and friends who have gone before me. I want to meet the incredible Saints: Peter, Nicholas, Francis, Ignatius and Mother Theresa. That will be awesome!
3. Go water skiing. As a child, I loved going water skiing. Skipping across the glassy water and taking in the beautiful scenery was a pure joy. Unfortunately, I had to stop water skiing when I got too heavy for the boat to pull me! Since I assume that under-powered engines will not be an issue in heaven, I very much look forward to doing this again.

In trying to answer these questions, heaven became much more real and concrete for me. It is therefore easier to hope to be in heaven. Thinking about the end of my story becomes something that more readily fills me with strength and courage in difficult times.

Try to answer this question for yourself. What are the first three things that you will do in heaven?