How we are held back from following Jesus


Imagine that you are standing on one side of a large room with your back against the wall.  You really want to get to the room because there is something at the opposite wall that you desperately want, so you begin walking to the other side of the room. At first it is easy, but soon you begin to notice that walking become harder and harder with each step, until all at once you stop. You are frustrated because you cannot take another step forward. Then, to add insult to injury, you suddenly feel yourself pulled back to the wall where you started. In your confusion you turn around and see something you hadn't noticed before: there is a big elastic band that is connecting your back to the wall! How had you not noticed it earlier?  Now, as ridiculous as this story sounds, we can easily experience much the same thing when we try to follow Jesus.

Because of our over-attachment to something or someone, we often fall short in following Christ. Sometimes our hearts are too full of things other than God that we do not live up to our potential as Christians. In today’s gospel, Jesus says that our hearts should be attached to Him alone. He mentions that we need to detach from certain things, but His language is confusing. We need to hate our family in order to be Jesus’ disciples? Really? Doesn't that go against the commandment to honor your father and mother? We cannot follow Christ unless we give up all our possessions? What will we wear? Where will we live?  Clearly Jesus is speaking in hyperbole; we should not take this literally. Jesus is trying to strike home this important point: different things, even good things, can hold us back from following Jesus. These things become like the elastic band in the story I told earlier.  In our life it is like we are in that room, trying to get to the other side.  We are trying to walk towards Christ and heaven.  When we follow Jesus we can feel like this journey is easy at first, then it can get harder and harder until we stop making progress altogether.  Sometimes we may even regress and be pulled backwards.  Often it is as though we are tied to the wall by a big elastic band.  The elastic is anything that takes the place of God in our heart or takes us away from God.  The thing might be good in itself like our family, a friendship, work or a hobby. But when these things divert us from God they become like an elastic band that holds us back from following Jesus properly.

Today’s gospel teaches us that Jesus must always be the priority in our life.  Good things, like family, work and hobbies have a very important place in our life, but Christ must take the most important place in our life.  I once heard an analogy that explains this well.  Actually the one I am about to tell I have changed a little bit, so if you have heard the original and like it better, I apologize in advance.  Imagine that you have in front of you a big, empty glass jar. Now imagine that you place one large rock into the jar. The rock is so big that when it is placed in the jar the top of the rock is level with the top of the jar. At first glance you may think that the jar is full, but then you take a bag of pebbles and begin pouring them into the jar.  The pebbles fill in all the spaces that separate the large rock from the sides of the jar. Again the jar seems full.  But Wait! Again you take another bag, this one filled with sand, and begin pouring the contents into the jar.  The sand fills up all the spaces between the pebbles.  This time the jar looks really full! But next you take a pitcher of water and pour it into the jar.  The water then fills all the gaps between the grains of sand. 

Our life is like this glass jar.  Each of us fills our life with things of different importance; this is represented by the rock, the pebbles, the sand and the water.  The large rock is Jesus and He is meant to fill our life.  What this analogy teaches us is that even when Jesus fills our life there is still room for everything else.  There is room for the very important things, represented by the pebbles: family, friendships, work, and school.  There is still room for the things of lesser importance, represented by the sand, such as hobbies and good recreation. There is also still room for things of the least importance, represented by the water, such as playing games on our smart phones and watching videos on Youtube about cats doing funny things.  In fact, all these other things that fit in our jar of life along with Jesus are transformed for the good, they become “touched” by Christ, just as the pebbles, sand and water touch the large rock. There is one final lesson the analogy teaches us and this is the central point of today’s gospel.  As long as we put the big rock in the jar first, there is room for everything else.  But, if we put in other things into the jar first, then there is no room for the rock.  If we fill our lives first with things – whether they be of great or little importance - there will be no room for Christ.  When this happens, these things become like that elastic band tied to our back. They prevent us from making much progress in following Jesus.  The message of Jesus in today’s gospel is that He must always take first priority in our life.

Today is a great opportunity to examine what takes priority in our life and makes changes if necessary.  At the start of this new school year we have a great chance to ask ourselves the question: what is filling the jar of my life? Is my life filled with water, with sand or with pebbles? Is there room for Christ in my life? There are practical ways that we can give Christ priority in our life. Something that I would like recommend, something I myself find helpful, is a prayer called the “Morning Offering”.  I say this prayer first thing each morning.  When my alarm goes off I literally roll out of bed, kneel down and pray this prayer:

Dear Jesus, through the most pure heart of Mary, I offer you all my works, joys, sufferings and prayers this day, for all the intentions of your Most Divine heart, in union with all the Holy Masses being offered throughout the world, I offer you my heart, make it meek and humble like yours.

The exact words don’t really matter.  The important thing is that you start each day by putting Jesus first and offering everything else you do to Him.  It is a chance each morning to first put Jesus in the jar of our life, all else can then follow.  Today we have a great chance to evaluate and change if necessary what takes priority in our life.


I would encourage each one of us to make the Morning Offering a habit in our life.  In this way we can try more and more to put Jesus at the center of our lives and cut any of the bands that hold us back from walking along the path to follow Him.

Be humble, be happy.


I know a man named Bill, he is retired and lives in San Diego.  Several times a week he does something quite out of the ordinary: he drives his car across the border to Tijuana, Mexico to serve the poor.  Bill helps the needy in Tijuana in different ways, he visits a prison and cuts the hair of inmates, he gives soup to people living on the street and he goes to poor villages to deliver toys to children.  Bill does all these things in a simple and matter-of-fact sort of way.  He never draws attention to himself.  What is amazing is that he does all this work in Mexico knowing basically no Spanish.  Bill is also a bit of a character; you could say he is a little rough around the edges. Sometimes his language can be a little “colorful”.  In fact, if he knew I was speaking about him today, he would probably have some choose words for me, words I couldn't repeat here.  Bill is definitely a unique individual and among all that he is, what stands out the most is that he is perhaps the most humble man I have ever met.

In today’s gospel, Jesus speaks strongly about the importance of humility.  The virtue of humility seems to be one that is very close to the heart of Christ. It is one facet of His life we need to imitate, in fact he commands us: “learn from me for I am meek and humble of heart” (Mt. 11:29).  You can easily picture the scene of today’s gospel.  Jesus is at a banquet, perhaps He is in the back of the room, out of the way, but He is watching very attentively the behavior of the guests.  Jesus can see them trying to “one-up” each other, seeking to get the seats of honor at the table, looking for attention and in general strutting around like peacocks. Because of what He witnesses Jesus tells us a parable with a strong message: be humble, do not be puffed up or prideful, or seeking to be seen great in the eyes of other.  We are blessed to have a living witness to this message in our current Holy Father.  Through his actions Pope Francis is echoing this teaching of Christ.  A couple examples come to mind.  You might have heard that after he was elected as Pope he declined to take the waiting limousine that was to take him to dinner with the cardinals.  Instead, he chose to ride to the dinner with the cardinals in a mini-bus, he wanted to be “one of the guys”.  The next day, Pope Francis was in a car on the way back from visiting a Church.  He had the car stop at the hotel he had been staying at prior to his election, got out, went to the main desk and paid his bill.  This is something he easily could have had an aide do. His example shows us the utmost importance of humility in our lives as Christians.

In different ways, we all struggle with being humble.  I doubt that humility is an easy thing for any of us. Now, we have probably met some people whose lack of humility is all too evident.  They walk around talking about themselves all the time and drawing attention to themselves.  I doubt that any of us are like this. We lack humility in more subtle ways.  During a retreat while at seminary, the retreat director spoke to us about humility. He read out a list, written by St. Josemaria Escriva, which gave signs that you might be lacking in humility.  Listening to the list was a sobering experience for me as I found myself ticking off each point. I would like to share a few of the points with you. Here are some signs that indicate you may be lacking in humility:
  1. Thinking that what you do or say is better than what other do or say
  2. Always wanting to get your own way
  3. Arguing when you are not right or – when you are – insisting stubbornly with bad manner
  4. Giving your opinion without being asked for it, when charity does not demand you to do so
  5. Speaking badly about yourself so that others may form a good opinion about you, or contradict you
  6. Being hurt when others are held in greater esteem than you
  7. Being ashamed of not having certain possession

I could go on, but I think we get the point.  In subtle ways, we all struggle with humility.

Perhaps one of the reasons that we struggle being humble is because we do not really understand what humility is. Oftentimes we have a mistaken notion of what humility entails. First, let’s look at what humility is not.  Humility is not walking around with your head bowed down thinking to yourself how worthless you are. A great definition of humility is “walking in the truth”. Humble people are able to honestly know and assess themselves, both their gifts and their limitations.  They know their gifts and realize that they have been given to them by God. Knowing ourselves to be unique and gifted individuals is indispensable first step to grow in humility. As the expression goes, “God does not make junk”.  Further, humble people know that these gifts are meant to be used to serve other people. In addition to knowing our strengths, to be humble we must also be aware of our weaknesses. We need to understand that we are limited human beings in need of God’s help. It important that we keep in mind what humility truly is.

Striving to live humility is a road to happiness. When you meet someone who is truly humble you will find that they are truly happy and full of joy. Bill, who I spoke about earlier, definitely fits this description.  He really knew himself. He knew his strengths and gifts: he had time, good health, knew how to cut hair and liked people.  He also knew his weaknesses, among them a bit of a tempter and no Spanish skills. Bill made the choice to use his gifts to serve people who were in need.  In doing this he did not let his limitations get in the way.  Bill loved to say: “what I lack in verb conjugation I try to make up for in love”. As a result, he was truly a happy man.  Bill’s life was not without struggle but he was filled with joy.  When we strive to live true humility we will find happiness.

In life, some people will be recognized by the world for their accomplishments.  However, for the vast majority of people, like my friend Bill, their work and efforts will be seen by few, perhaps by God alone. But, as the gospel shows us, being recognized is not important, humility is. Jesus wants us all to experience the joy and peace of heart that comes through humility. This is His invitation today. Let us begin to grow in humility.  Ask yourself today: what gifts do you have? Try to think of at least three and give thanks to God for them. In addition pray that God will show you some new way that you can put these gifts at the service of others so that you can experience the happiness of being humble.  

What is the population of heaven? Of hell?


What is the population of heaven? Here is a more loaded question: what is the population of hell?  In today’s gospel Jesus is asked a similar question: “Lord, will many be saved”? Some of you may have grown up with “fire and brimstone” sermons that emphasized the difficulty of winning a place in heaven.  Such sermons warned strongly about the risk of going to hell and described the situation there so vividly that we would never want to go there.  Today, on the other hand, we seem to hear less about Hell.  The idea seems outdated.  Many Catholics assume that everyone goes automatically to heaven as though all humanity is on some big conveyor belt up to God. Some assume that Hell doesn't exist. Will many be saved? Today’s gospel sheds light on this issue.

First, we need to make one point crystal clear: God wants all people to be saved.  Our heavenly Father created us in order that we could spend eternity with Him in heaven.  This is God’s desire and He has done everything to make it a reality.  When Jesus came to the earth, He died to save every human being.  It is as though each human being has been given a plane ticket.  On this plane ticket, under location it reads: “heaven”.  God wants everyone to be with Him forever in Heaven.

This being said, it is not automatic that everyone will go to heaven.  It is the teaching of the Church, and Jesus Himself, that Hell is real and that some people may go there.  This is a teaching I have found hard to accept. How could a loving God allow people to go to Hell? I once heard an explanation that helped me begin to understand. The teaching that Hell exists and that people can go there follows logically from two fundamental Christian beliefs.  The first is our belief about who God is. We believe that God is all love, goodness and beauty. The second belief is that God has given us our free will. Free will is one of the greatest gifts we have been given because means that we can imitate God: we are able to love. We must have freedom in order to love. But, the fact that we have been given free will means that we have the ability to choose not to be with God. We have the freedom not to use that ticket to heaven we have been given; in essence, we have the freedom to send ourselves to Hell.  People in Hell have separated themselves from God. Since God is love, goodness and beauty, hell is a place where there is no love, goodness or beauty.  In today’s gospel and elsewhere in the scriptures Jesus talks about the possibility of people not going to heaven. Today we hear of people who are cast out of the kingdom of God amidst wailing and gnashing of teeth. Jesus spoke often about Gehenna, a place of burning. Hell was not something the Church invented during the “Dark Ages”; we get the idea from Jesus.  Christ tells that we cannot assume that everyone automatically goes to heaven.

We need to accept God’s offer of salvation. Though we have been given a ticket to heaven, we need to take steps to claim it.  In the gospel Jesus makes it clear that this acceptance of God’s offer of salvation is not a casual thing.  Just saying that we are Catholic is not enough. When I was living in Rome I used to visit an elderly couple. In their house I saw so many pictures saints, including Padre Pio... this is Italy after-all.  I said to them once that they must be fervent Catholics.  They said of course, they were 100% Catholic! Then the old lady would come close to me, point her finger in my face, and say,“listen we are more Catholic than you!”. So I asked what Church they went to.  Their response was `oh, we haven`t been to mass in 20 years`. This way of thinking is not uncommon. In the gospel we find people demanding that the lord open the door to them because they “ate and drank” in his company.  But the lord refused to open the door.  He says he does not recognize them.  Claiming to be a follower of Jesus is not enough to get into heaven.  Accepting God’s offer of salvation is a serious and demanding choice. Jesus calls it the “narrow gate”.  The fact that we follow Jesus must transform our lives.  People should recognize that we are His follower; Jesus should see something of Himself in us. This is the way in which we claim the ticket to heaven we have been given.

In addition to ourselves, we need to encourage others to accept God’s offer of salvation. The Church in fact exists to help as many people as possible reach heaven.  As you know, this is the “Year of Faith”. During this our diocese has been promoting initiatives to evangelize, bringing people to know and follow Jesus and enter the Church.  Specific attention has been paid to “fallen-away Catholics”, which is one of the largest and fastest growing religious groups in the West. For example our Diocese launched the “Catholics Come Home” campaign. You probably saw the commercials on TV. This has born definite fruit. I myself have met people who have come back to the faith after watching the commercials.  This is a great blessing. You’ll remember that we were also encouraged to pray that God show us one or two people close to us - a family member, friend or co-worker - we could encourage to come back to the practice of their faith in a welcoming and non-judgemental way. Imagine the impact if each of us could bring one person back to Church. We still have time to make this a reality. There are many possibilities coming up in the near future that will be opportunities for us to welcome Catholics back home. On the diocesan level you will hear soon about the upcoming men’s conference on October 5 called “Man-alive”. One month later, on November 23, there will be a similar event for women. Why not consider going to one of these events and inviting someone to come with you? Here in our own parish there are many other opportunities to invite people back. You could invite them to join a parish group: RCIA, bible study, soup kitchen, CWL, Knights of Columbus, Legion of Mary – the list is long.  In this way we can encourage others to accept God’s offer of salvation.


So, what is the population of heaven? Of hell?  Will many be saved? The answer in the end depends a lot on us. Certainly we should trust in God’s love and mercy, we should hope and pray that all are saved. This is God’s own desire. On the other hand we should be filled with a sense of urgency to work with God in ensuring that people – starting with ourselves – accept this offer of salvation. During this year of Faith let us do this by taking advantage of the many events in the diocese and our parish by going ourselves and inviting a friend, family member or co-worker along with us.